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Post by neptunewoman on Jun 25, 2005 0:44:25 GMT
I don't visit this site for a few days and come back to find manna from heaven...Amorosa, you will never know how much of what you have shared transformed me...
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Post by Amoroso on Sept 14, 2005 0:45:31 GMT
There have been several threads this month on the journey with Pluto, especially in regards to relationships. I told Aquarius Rising that I would try to get up the courage to share some of what I have written in the past year about my experience of knowing C. I hope this helps someone else going through the same thing. This is so far beyond mutual attraction and my Eros trine his whatever or this conjunct that, but I think it does express a small iota of what I have expereinced. I hope it does not offend anyone.
from Decemeber 4, 2004
"I’ve stripped your flesh off with my teeth, although there are bits of skin and muscle still hanging from your bones. Your eyes look out from their sockets. waiting, non-condemning. They are compassionate. But waiting, waiting because you can not move without your muscles, without the skin that covers everything. Your teeth are milky white and I wonder what it would be like to bite them. It seems that I have both dreamt and lived the pain that you are in. You are asking me through your eyes to finish ripping the leftover skin off so you will at least not be in pain anymore. This I do. I put the palms of my hands up to the shards and gently melt them away. And I see how beautiful you are, standing there with nothing but your bones and your eyes. You are letting me see you naked to your core.
And then, when I am sure you know how beautiful I find you, I walk away to let you grow back your muscles, tendons, skin. I get the feeling that you would let me see you in the flesh again if you could figure out how to act in front of me. I have changed the very coordination of your walk, your lips and tongue as they try to form speech, your manner of breathing and the tilt of your head. Poor boy. You thought love was romance and sex and fun, and you discover too late that Love is blood and sinew and the holding of each others’ beating hearts in our bare hands."
Amoroso
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Post by woudiver on Sept 14, 2005 10:42:47 GMT
are there specific eros contacts that you're talking about? how about eros to personal name asteroids in syanastry? Or trines to anothers moon or squares to saturn? Can it be any contact or best with personal planets, thanks.
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Post by aquariusrising on Sept 14, 2005 12:17:52 GMT
Amoroso, this is profoundly beautiful and so very appropriate in regard to Pluto and all that he brings with him. I am writing this as I am getting ready for work, so I am pressed for time and will have to write more later. Thank you for sharing and exposing your innermost emotions with us. As I am travelling down this road, I will come back to this thread and your thoughts often, I am sure "Love is blood and sinew and the holding of each others’ beating hearts in our bare hands." Yes......it is.
Much light
A.R.
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Post by aquariusrising on Sept 14, 2005 12:26:11 GMT
Woudiver,
The contacts that Amoroso was specifically talking about were more Pluto oriented. As she recently went through Pluto transits as I am starting to experience now. I believe Eros contacts are always important. I look at name asteroids as well. Yes, I think any contact counts.
A.R.
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Post by Amoroso on Sept 14, 2005 14:03:54 GMT
Hi Woudiver,
I posted this piece on the "Eros and Marriage" thread because this has been an experience outside of my very committed, long-term and essentially happy marriage. The idea was to share something positive that can come out of allowing yourself to experience the extreme pain and joy of these kinds of relationships. It is not easy energy to express, and express it must, or the energy becomes destructive to you. For me, one way of channeling and expressing this energy is to write, which as you may notice, takes up the bulk of the stuff on this thread! I am SO grateful to have a safe place to express myself.
Amoroso
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Post by Amoroso on Dec 1, 2005 14:14:19 GMT
During this period of Mercury Retrograde I revisted a piece I wrote awhile ago. I am posting this on this thread as one example of how I am using my love for C, which continues to be an amazing force in my life. This piece reflects much of what has been awakened in me by him, but it is not about him.
I don't have a title for this piece yet--any ideas? Enjoy! Amoroso
"My family is in various stages of excitement to get to the nearby concert hall to hear the world-famous Orpheus Chamber Orchestra and the American soprano, Barbara Bonney. Husband has never seen the inside of the much-touted, state-of-the-art new building. Sixteen year-old Son wants to compare the music and playing to the Mingus big band concert he recently reviewed at the hall for the local newspaper. Daughter, age 12, is convinced she will be bored to tears and is making sure I brought enough gum. I can’t wait to hear Barbara Bonney and see Cousin, the orchestra’s double bassist, someone whom I barely know but held when he was an infant and I was 11 years old.
We walk through the elegant crowd, down the grand staircase and come upon Son’s former piano teacher, a well-known local concert pianist and my former vocal coach. I throw my arms around him in a big hug, He hastily pushes me away lest his date for the evening get the wrong idea. He “oos” and “ahs” over how big Son has become.
Once in our seats, Husband and Son wildly gesture towards all the acoustical and architectural elements of the beautiful hall and Daughter slinks down in her seat in pre-teen angst, preparing to hate the evening. There are twenty chairs on stage. We know which one is Cousin’s because there is a large stool looming above the other seats placed stage left. The lights dim, the side doors open, and the musicians file out to audience applause. Daughter whispers “They haven’t DONE anything yet, why are we CLAPPING?” There’s Cousin, the last one in, lugging his huge coffin of an instrument. The orchestra bows as one unit and sits.
Their first piece, a set of Norwegian dances by Edvard Grieg, electrocutes the hall with the kind of rhythmic vitality that can happen only because each musician takes responsibility for communicating with the rest of the group by breath, eye contact and honed instinct. Son and I are immediately swept away on a tide of musical Eros while Daughter and Husband stick their big toes in the surf. The sound waves hit me with such intensity that I begin to move, much to Daughter’s embarrassment. MOM, she whispers. YOU look very STUPID. Please STOP. At the end of the set, we all applaud wildly for Cousin, and of course, the rest of the orchestra.
Barbara Bonney glides across the stage to sing her first piece, “Scena di Berenice” by Joseph Haydn. The women seated behind us begin discussing the merits of her form-fitting, shimmering lime-yellow gown. The cantata consists of three-sections: a dramatic opening recitative, followed by a lyric aria and an impassioned concluding aria sung in Italian. I forget about Cousin for the moment and watch Bonney like a hawk. I am torn three-way, listening to her technically, loving her performance, and wishing I were up there doing the same thing. There are no translations in the program, which make following the drama a bit difficult, even for me, but I am amazed that this kind of complex piece is being performed without a conductor to hold it together. Son has gone into analytical mode because the music and language have not captured his heart. Husband is enjoying watching me watching the concert. As Bonney concludes the drama, Daughter leans in to me and announces “MOM, there are no African-Americans anywhere in this AUDIENCE.”
At intermission we get drinks and I see many people I know. It feels wonderful to be out-and-about after these last three years of losses and l recoveries! I briefly worry that I have forgotten all my social skills between surgeries and parenting, but I seem to banter and flirt with some of the old charm. I go back to my seat with invitations to “do” lunch, meet for drinks or audition, having collected business cards or names and phone numbers written on little pieces of paper which I stick in my purse. Daughter immediately sticks her chewed gum in one of the papers and roots in my purse for more gum. The paper was “only” the phone number for the people who underwrote tonight’s concert, a composer with whom I worked 18 years ago and her husband…..Daughter and I proceed to have a little “talk.”
The next piece Bonney sings is a setting of my very favorite poem-set-as-prose work of all time: Knoxville: Summer of 1915 by James Agee. I had printed off the poem before dinner and read it to the family as we ate, crying and choking over the final words of the poem, much to their amazement. The addition of woodwinds and horns to the strings in this second half perks Daughter up. She says to me “Why is her piccolo black and if you CRY I will DIE.” The music is achingly beautiful, but unfortunately Bonney’s diction is sacrificed for pure tone. I am glad I read the poem to the family before we came. With the final words, I do begin to cry softly, because, how can there can be any more beautiful words or vibrant harmonies to describe the poignancy of childhood’s winged delight? Bonney’s pianissimo high B-flats float across the hall and into my dreams.
The final number is Mozart’s Symphony no. 29 in A Major. Daughter takes my right hand into both of hers and leans her head on my shoulder. I look at Son and notice that his eyes are very bright—the look he gets when he is solving an intricate music theory problem or smells good food. This work has a light scoring with pairs of oboes, horns and bassoons, and has a theme full of grace and power. Suddenly I am remembering the feel of the double reed vibration on my lips and through my skull as I play bassoon in high school; my hands splayed wide to accommodate the fingering of the large instrument. In the next movement, an intimate andante, I feel how much breath it took to play oboe in middle school and remember how my father always teased me that my oboe playing sounded like a trumpet. I tear up remembering him, like I have done often since he passed on. When Orpheus’ flautist picks up her piccolo for a few measures in the final minuet, I remember the lip tension of playing piccolo in marching band, fingers freezing in the rain. I am quite astonished that all these kinesthetic memories are so immediate and vivid. Daughter mumbles, half-asleep, “ALL these Mozart thingies sound ALIKE.” The orchestra’s final, exquisite chords sound through the hall. There is a lovely lull before the audience responds with a standing ovation.
Afterwards we take Cousin to an average-hole-in-the-wall bar near his hotel and talk for hours. Daughter is asleep on the bench next to me and we let Son have sips of our beers. We get home at 1:00 a.m., exhausted, happy, and grateful.
Batteries recharged to face life’s music."
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Post by Kim Falconer on Dec 2, 2005 22:50:27 GMT
Amoroso! Thank you for this wonderful journey! My batteries, and heart, are definitely re-charged! Kim
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Post by Amoroso on Jan 18, 2006 18:17:47 GMT
I wish I could jump in on all the threads right now, so much going on that seems to fit in to all of them.
Waiting for the results of husband's biopsy, expanding my own paid and non-paid creative work, ushering son through college applications and auditions, allowing daughter her teenage fits, caring for a home.....and remembering C gives me the spark to do it all.
Here is something I wrote back in August: "Abstinence for months. A small square of dark chocolate, (Sweet, sweet cocoa beans) Lingers over my tongue. A delectable sin dissolves creamy through my lips.
And so, you deliciously spiral through my solar plexus, delightfully ooze into the cavity of my absent womb, decadently carve an ancient, aching sweetness."
After I wrote this, on the spur of the moment, I looked up the following asteroids and was amazed to find--
Asteroid 6436 “Coco” is 12 Scorpio: in the progressed composite with C and me, exactly opposing the Sun.
Asteroid 6153 “Hershey” is at 0 Gemini, conjunct my Mercury and in our progressed chart, in exact opposition to our progressed composite Hershey!
Blessings, Amoroso
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Post by Kim Falconer on Jan 20, 2006 23:29:53 GMT
I've printed this wonderful eulogy to the cocoa out and put it up in the middle of my 'chart wall' (the wall in my study on which is plastered myriad returns, progressions, current horary, synastries, etc etc...) I love it! Thank you. Kim
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Post by allegoricallogic on Jan 23, 2006 13:07:44 GMT
In classical astrology, we typically look for our partner's planets, particularly the luminaries, to fall in the 1st, 5th, and 7th houses of our charts. From personal experience, I have found Eros conjunct the descendant to be a major factor in synastry. My first love had her Eros exactly (less that 1 degree obr) conjunct my descendant. There were other synastric factors which reinforced our connection but this Eros aspect was obviously very prominent. I call this aspect, love at first sight, or what is commonly referred to as "cupid's arrow." And it truly was love at first sight accompanied by all the butterflies fluttering from day one. I've also identified and confirmed this aspect in the charts of other people I've met that have provoked a similar "love at first sight" reponse. Make the synastric comparative charts of people you've been involved with in the past. Don't be surprised if you encounter at least one of those heart throbs with their Eros conjunct your descendant!
Allegoricallogic
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Post by jamma on Jan 23, 2006 19:19:53 GMT
Hi Al ... welcome to the forum! ... Thanks for the tip on the Eros/Dsc connection ... Do you have any insights about Eros conjunct the IC and Psyche conjunct the Dsc (both exact) ... I'm very attracted to someone with these aspects to my natal ... (meanwhile, my Sun is exactly conjuncts his Dsc and Lust) ... This is a clandestine attraction, but I wonder if he feels it as much as I do ... I'd be most grateful for all comments ... Jamma
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Post by gemstar on Jan 24, 2006 0:33:57 GMT
Hey AA-
After your post, I remembered that in my composite chart with my love...our composite EROS 13' 14 Cancer is exactly conjunct the DSC 13' 19 Cancer (which is conjunct my natal Vertex at 14 Can.)!! Interesting observation!! It certainly feels very powerful and incredibly deep...cool!
Hugs-
GemStar
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Post by amoroso on Jan 24, 2006 2:36:50 GMT
Here I got all excited that someone else had finally posted on this thread.....
and it's off topic.
I have started another thread called "Eros/Synastry and the AC/DC/MC/IC.
But it IS interesting, AA, that your experiences in synastry have been with Eros on the Desc. More on the new thread...
Blessings, Amoroso
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Post by allegoricallogic on Jan 26, 2006 9:25:45 GMT
Jamma, GemStar, Amoroso, etc. - Thank you for the warm welcome I believe any contacts that land on the Descendant are significant and should be taken into consideration when examining synastry. As an astrologist, I'm constantly looking for re-occuring themes in charts. If you have your Sun conjunct your partner's Descendant for example, thats a major synastric factor. If you throw in Eros, Psyche and other planets or asteroids related to attraction, you add more weight to the synastry. What I would advise doing is going back and examining all of your previous relationships. Make synastry charts for all and begin looking for the re-occuring themes existing between you and your partners. If your Sun or Psyche conjunct your partner's descendant was a major re-occuring theme in your previous or strongest relationships, you know this aspect will no doubt lead in the same direction. Here's one problem. Its difficult to get accurate birth data for past partners. What I tend to do instead is identify where my previous partner's planets landed in my chart. I have a strong affinity with Virgo for many reasons but one is that Virgo planets tend to fall in my first house. But as I mentioned before, having someone's Eros land right on the DC really gets my attention. So it's really important to look at both charts in their entirety and begin adding up connections, especially with personal planets such as mars and venus. Here's a web site that has a great deal of information about synastry that may help you in weighing those factors: www.cafeastrology.com/synastry.htmlLet me know how it goes. FYI - I deemed my initial post discussing Eros on the DC relevant to this thread "Eros & Marriage" simply because the 7th house / DC is commonly associated with marriage and partnerships in classical astrology. I apologize if there was any confusion. AllegoricalLogic
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