saturn square saturn note

[tom]

hi all,
i've been working with this aspect for while, but recently started my 2nd master cleanse and realized it's relevant. also with ceres transiting alongside saturn in virgo now. ceres is in the 12th and saturn's at the cusp, squaring natal saturn-vesta in gemini/9th.

the main reason for doing it is to give up certain beliefs and attitudes from the past (that are not healthy) that co-exist with ones i've developed (that are healthy). there's a lot of familial "programming" i picked up about food and health that i know i can't proceed where i want to go if i continue to carry. i started having memories of food experiences from my childhood, too, as in remembering looking at my plate or food as i ate, so decided to put some distance between them and where i'm headed now. that's kind of surreal and kind of fun, to actually remember random meals from random times, but i think they're coming up for me to figure out how to work with feelings associated with those times.

today is day 6 of the cleanse. i did it for 10 days (the recommended duration) 5 years ago, but with a different attitude ("hmm, what would that be like?") and not so much of an intention. this time is very different! it's possible i may go longer this time, too, but if my body says to stop, i will.

i'm also having so much unconscious stuff (12th hs!!) come up, old feelings about all kinds of things. and taking a lot of time to be quiet and process them. i'm still working full-time but seeing fewer clients for a couple of weeks to give that extra time.

the full moon this week is my late father's birthday - sun on my MC/SN, moon on my IC. kind of appropriate as i work saturn in the 12th! his relationship with food ultimately had a lot to do with his death, which i've been beginning to grieve on deeper levels. actually, i've been greiving how he treated himself more than his death, now that i think of it.

[Aphrodite]

Hi Tom,

You got me thinking about trying to do a master cleanse. I've thought about it often but never had the guts (no pun intended) to do it. Food is so much a part of how we nurture ourselves and others, I'm not surprised that you are grieving over your father and old issues. It is one of the things that keeps me from trying the diet. Besides the physical challenge that I'm not sure I am up to, I would probably need to completely quit working for two weeks so I could just "deal" with whatever came up. Big and scary for me!

I admire your courage. Hang in there. Emotionally and physically, you are going to emerge a much stronger and fitter person. It is going to be worth it. :-)

Aphrodite

[tom]

thanks for the encouragement, aphrodite.
it's day 9 now, and things are going well.

i think you do when you're really ready to do it, like anything else that's kind of major. i'd considered doing it again off and on for a couple of years, but i think wasn't sick enough of my habits to do it. and then i got so completely sick of me, who i was behaving as, and then realized that a lot of it's learned - so this 12th house time makes me ripe for letting it go.

if you do it at some point, you'll know it's because it's the right thing to do.

thanks again!

[pam]

Hi Tom and Aphrodite,

The Master cleanse is no joke. I've done it from time to time. I also did a 28 day fast (or as my virgo sun/virgo mercury friend would say. modified fast) that consisted of a blenderful of water, raw rolled oats (one cup), and two bananas each day. Plus tons of water. I didn't do extra juices, although I could have.

I wish I had thought of doing this when my Saturn square Saturn transit was going on. It's over with now.

Fasting is one of those activities/major life events that is much more mental than it is physical. You have to be ready to LET GO, because stuff will come up to be processed. Congrats Tom on your growth, and Aphrodite, when you are ready it will be much easier than you anticipate.

[tom]

thanks, pam!!
i'm mostly decided to break it tomorrow. the taste of sweet from the syrup (even when dilute) is making me nuts, is one reason.
a major one though is that i'm working full-time now, and am beyond less than productive - can a person be minisculely productive?? if so, that's me.
all i want to do is rest & process, and it's not practical now. so, i did the ten days and feel good about that. also, i'm extremely happy about beginning the GI tract cleansing, having made a dent in that.

i agree with you that it's more mental than physical. i actually like the feeling of hunger, and don't mind fasting a day or two here or there. and will probably do juice fasting when the interest arises again.

[ana]

Well done I wish I had the will power to do it but not just now.....it is winter here........nicer when it is hot and food is not needed to warm and comfort I have done 10 days on Breuss vegie juice about 4 years ago - not sure how Saturn related to it - and of course I loved the weight loss which maintained I think like you Tom the taste of the stuff I was using stopped me going any longer I have done 2 lots of 6 days too I won't go into murky details of the digestive benefits but they were very well worth while and improved my health I was already on a pretty pure diet so I did not get any headaches or anything

[tom]

well, ana, it's time when it's time! i don't want to say it's not for everyone, but there's definitely a time and place to do it.

another saturn square saturn note - my first article in a big magazine came out last week, in dell horoscope - on the pluto square for the pluto in libra generation - i'm pretty excited!

the square is from virgo/12th to my natal gemini/9th - feels like stretching into new territory, getting my ideas (gem/9th) into the hands of the masses (12th).