Uranus in 7

[Juliet]

Hi,

The last few days I have been wondering again how I can learn to live my Uranus in 7 myself, and more constructively? I seem to project it in men now, because I keep feeling attracted to very dependent men with very erratic behaviour.
My bf pulls the same trick over and over again, he's getting more attached because something significant happens, as going out on a wonderful vacation and him starting to talk about living together which I reacted to welcoming. Then he starts calling me twenty times a day, totally panicked, I panick too, and a day later he pulls back completely, and I mean completely. He's done this before, but it is apparently not the relationship I want and need after all. My ex did this too.
Now I'm meditating on it, and taking very good care of myself, working on my dependency, grieving, and I changed my cell so he can't start texting me again in a few days. I'm working on my dependency because I believe that is what gets mirrored.
It's his pattern, but it is my pattern too, I'm well aware of that. maybe it's my own erratic side too.
How can I live that healthily?

Eclipse time..., first the Solar on my natal Uranus and now the Lunar close to my Vertex at 22 deg Leo. Could it be more of a challenge to live Uranus because Leo is an intercepted sign in my chart? And the draconic Aq stuff must be emphasizing all my dr Aq.

Vertex activation has always been constructive and important in my life, always brought gifts!

Juliet

[tom]

Hi Juliet,
Can you post your chart or data?
Tom

[Juliet]

Yes Tom, here it is! Thanks! There is another Aq theme going on, my Solar Arc Moon is at the critical deg 29 Aq and about to change to Pisces...
Also, I'm feeling quite good, I don't let it get it to me that much, far less then the last time, and had a fine weekend.
Juliet

[tom]

Hi Juliet,
When I read your first post on this, I wondered if the nodal axis was involved, and it is! Uranus and Chiron both square the nodes and indicate "unresolved issues," stuff we will draw to us in many different ways (or as a repeated pattern) so we can learn to make new/different choices. In past lives, we were vexed by our experiences and choices regarding the energies square the nodes and from the soul's perspective, need to learn to make new choices.

What you're experiencing is your karma, which is about patterns and beliefs, those we energize...and sometimes believe are our only options. Many times this comes up as apparent dichotomies, especially with an opposition square the nodes. It might seem as if you can't possibly serve your personal healing needs AND be in the kind of relationships that support your growth and honor your individuality and need for freedom. And who really wants to be alone? So perhaps you're choosing this kind of relationship again and again because you think (or a part of you thinks) that it's that or loneliness.

BUT. But this is an apparent dichotomy, based in past-life circumstances. Your trick now to learn is to make different choices. Maybe you can get in touch with what that Uranus wants, and separately what the Chiron wants, and allow each voice to be heard - this is key. Accept their argument (opposition) for what it is: opposed kinds of advice they offer to try to help the whole of you.

Allow the center of you, the part that knows there's no dichotomoy of unhappiness or loneliness, to hear the concerns of each, and then commit to making different choices, understanding the dynamics of the argument and know that you can in fact choose relationships that work for you.

[Juliet]

Hi Tom, You are so very helpful, thank you!
I had come to the same conclusion last night, I use relationships to heal the feeling of alone-ness, while it is even not so hard for me to enter that feeling of being carried and loved no matter what, but I get sidetracked by my fears and let them get all consuming and the pushing and pulling starts. The fears have totally subsided now, I feel peaceful again.
Relationships and the potential loss they represent (to me), scare me!

I bet my bf's Moon on my NN plays a important part in my attraction to him, there were a lot of very healthy things between us, but that square got activated...

Thank you, Juliet

[tom]

hi juliet
glad you figured it out!
since posting on your question, i've worked on four charts with uranus in the 7th or 8th, all people who choose relationships that turn out to be boring - and they know it when they choose it. an afterschool lesson for me? time will tell.
best,
tom

[Juliet]

Hi Tom, You got yourself a THEME!
Well, I've never been in a boring relationship, that is for sure!
The dad of my kids and my last bf both travelled a lot, and that seems a healthy part of uranus in 7, to partner with someone who is independent in the sense of not being together all the time. I kind a like that!
I feel completely detached now, scary, and hope the tears will come soon.