eros-nodes

[tom]

i just noticed in the chart of a new friend + mine - eros on each other's north nodes. there are other contacts, suns conjunct and moon conjunct and other things, but this jumped out at me just now. she's also another mars-uranus in libra person like me, and that just intrigues the heck out of me - hers in the 8th, mine in the 1st.

she admits to not getting the whole heart thing, and i'm a cancer south node...so i'm not sure if there's much emotional common ground, but i like her a lot so far. i actually noticed her energetically before my eyes were involved, and then we met through a third person a few minutes later.

also, just for fun: the eclipse on friday morning was on the composite south node, and we met friday evening.

[Kim Falconer]

Hi Tom,

I've been doing 'first meeting' charts of late and find them, as an event horoscope, very interesting.

When you say you aren't certain there is much emotional common ground, consider that Eros on each other's North Lunar Node IS common emotional ground. You both may passionately lure the other into the kinds of feelings and experiences that awaken your inner world! From my Eros relationship reports:

The Lunar Nodes in Synastry Aspect to Eros

“Spirit working upon and within creation is uniting all beings (some willing, the majority blind and rebellious) with each other through links of love, achieving - slowly and silently, but powerfully and irresistibly - the Supreme Synthesis."-- Roberto Assagioli

When the Eros of one person’s chart touches the Lunar Nodal Axis of the other’s, a strong feeling of ‘been there before’ can arise. The couple may find they are drawn to each other by a mysterious yet indiscernible force that triggers a forgotten reminiscence or memory.

Being together, in this case, can initially feel like a powerful recognition of each other’s needs, drives and motives. There can be a mutual support and understanding of what constitutes safely and comfort as well as a feeling of necessity at work. The couple may sustain and encourage each other in their dreams and offer solace and ease when those dreams threaten to overwhelm them. The level of intimacy can go very deep in a short span of time because of this gentle feeling of familiarity. If the Nodal axis remains balanced, the couple may encourage each other to discover new talents and opportunities while recharging in the sanctuary of love. These contacts can enhance the rapport and intimacy between the couple quite intensely.

Conversely, Eros/Nodal links can become lopsided if one person pushes too strongly towards the unknown North Node or pulls back excessively into the comfort of the familiar South Node. In either case, the contact can become strained as one person over stimulates the other in an unbalanced way. The couple may be so enamored with the past that they become ridged and stagnate, or they may be overzealous with exploring the unknown until the relationship looses its footings altogether.

Regardless of the aspect, Eros to one Node will automatically stimulate the other. This implies the need to maintain a balance between the two in the context of intimate relationship. Old patterns may emerge, with the opportunity to process them in new ways. Ideally, the couple may experience new horizons with the familiar comfort of each other’s presence.

Tom, because the Node is a integration point of sun, Moon and Earth, synastry contacts here touch the person on a very deep level and Eros, well, you know what that's like! Usually there is more than enough activation of the feeling world.

Let us know how it goes!

Kim

[tom]

Hi Kim,
Thanks for this, and your comments.
I misspoke/-wrote, thanks for correcting that. I wrote "emotional common ground," and you're right - it's there. The issue is actually emotional availability. She deflects personal questions, intellectualizing them, and the answers to many questions end up being answers to questions I didn't ask.

I'm not going to post her data (I don't have permission and don't want to ask!). But I see Sun-Mercury-Jupiter in Scorpio hitting the MC from the 9th (Jupiter right on it), Uranus-Mars in Libra/8th and Pluto in Virgo/8th, and a Capricorn rising with the ruler Saturn in Taurus/4th conjunct the IC. So, I see some signs of caution, and understand a little about some life circumstances that may have inspired her to choose it. Also Saturn on the IC opposing Venus-Neptune in Scorpio/10th.

I'm getting creative in asking personal questions without leaving her feeling on the spot, to try to draw her out...because I feel like trying it is good for each of us. It's kind of amusing, wondering what it will take to get through, if that can happen. But like I said, I like what she's about, so will give it some time. Also, the series of events that took me to where/when I met her were improbable and fantastic, so I'm trusting that we have some work to do together that's worth doing, even if it's just what's happening now.
But you know, the deflection is totally unintentional. After typing the above, I get that sense that she's just not habituated to focus on emotions, which I kind of am - perhaps good for each of us to moderate our takes on the whole emotionalism scale. I also can't forget that her Cap. Ascendant is on my North Node with her Eros.

I'll keep the board updated, as much as a good little Scorpio can...

[Kim Falconer]

Thanks for clarifying. That makes sense and really Scorpio sun (and even more so with the stellium) and Cap rising just isn't accustom to gushing about their feelings. They are private and protective, as you say. Anyone with a personal planet or angle in Capricorn is notorious for taking time to get to know. I have Mars in Cap and Pluto on the Asc and I can answer a question that leaves a person smiling, but doesn't reveal anything about me! I'm not saying this is a good thing--or a bad thing--it's just a Saturn/Pluto thing!

Maybe this relationship is less about questions and answers and intellectual constructs and more about experiencing the energy of each other. The Nodes may be leading you both somewhere new.

Kim

[Juliet]

Tom, I'm cautious too, and a Cap rising as well, but I'm emotional available alright, just takes some time, which can be a very healthy thing. I'm just being careful about whom I'm being emotional available to, which was very different in the past. But that was more a sign of my lack of boundaries then something else. I've actually become emotional available FOR REAL.
Also, one can be emotional available without talking emotions. One can just do them.

Weird, I'd always missed my bf's NN is on my Eros, Merc, so thanks for your question. There was an immediate familiarity for me (I cannot speak for him), which made me overcome the lack of infatuation. I felt and feel at ease with him, and that's why I want(ed) to be with him. The rest came later...

[tom]

juliet and kim - as i read your responses, i saw starkly that my cancer south node assumptions & habits are at play! worked up...

of course, right? i'm one of the humans at present. probably the issue for that habituated part of me is that if another and i can't relate emotionally, something must be wrong. but of course nothing's wrong. i've just manifested an undistilled capricorn-learning scenario.

so, the immediate comfort/familiarity/interest without an overt or named emotional connection is outside my habit zone. since reading these i've decided to choose being okay with this kind of discomfort...i seem okay with it in other arenas, but this one's a new one.

thanks again for your comments!

[Juliet]

I believe I understand what you're saying. With my Pluto in 7, I had to step out of my comfortzone of only relating to men who were totally obsessed with me! And the new pattern still scares me from time to time, but I'm growing...

[Kim Falconer]

Tom, it's great to see you pivot on the spot and choose to be comfortable! That's fantastic!

Juliet, you said Also, one can be emotional available without talking emotions. One can just do them.

I love that! Thank you!

xxxKim

[tom]

i must have been right about the lesson, because today i got cured of my interest! we each have mars-uranus in libra, mine in the 1st, hers in the 8th. and her pluto and true BML in virgo are also in the 8th - it's quite an 8th house.

8th house talk came up because of something another evolutionary astrologer wrote somewhere and she asked if i could clarify it, and it became clear that in my happiness to be here and share with people, i've lost my cynicism! i love people, love getting to know people, and exploring. and when i look for a partner, i'm looking for someone else who loves being here.

it became clear that my friend's kind of jaded (but she likes it), so we differ in some significant-to-me ways. also, it may be that she was only interested in me for talking. which i can do, but i'm not merely a brain and i choose to be earth in multiple modes; i've spent the last few years getting all four levels (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual) active and online, not just mental.

anyway, a fine educational opportunity.

okay, next! (but this time with feeling!)