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Post by jamma on Mar 17, 2006 4:00:38 GMT
Thank you, EVERYONE, for your kind words, thoughts, hugs, and emotional support during the days leading up to the eclipse ... for me, it was a dark night of the soul ...
But just a few hours after posting all of my woes here, I got news that my friend has decided to accept palliative care only (her doctor agreed, saying that the chemo had very little chance of being effective at this stage and would only add to her misery) ...
I think she had been experiencing that same torturous tension before the eclipse, but now she has decided to let herself "move on" she has become peaceful and relaxed ...
Once I heard the news of her decision, the dam inside me broke, and I cried and cried ... ... for my friend ... ... then for my late husband ... ... then for the world ... ... then for myself ...
The next day I woke feeling almost joyous, bursting to communicate ... When MM arrived to work at my house, I just blurted everything out to him -- all my feelings for him and how I couldn't understand why he would opt to be with a woman who mistreats him when he could be with me ... Then something amazing happened ... He told me, HE couldn't understand it either -- that he had often thought how much happier he would be with me! ... It's not exactly the "let's run away together" scenario that I had fantasized about, but it was so LIBERATING ... and heartwarming to know he is not rejecting me but, in fact, thinks about what an "us" might be like ... Now whatever happens, I will know it's HIS stuff -- fear of change, etc. -- and not because I'm a repulsive troll!
So, here in this latitude, the closure the eclipse brought was an end to fears -- for myself, who had been too afraid to speak my heart ... And for my friend, who, on the most profound level, is ready to embrace the "next phase" ...
With much love and gratitude, J
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Post by gemstar on Mar 17, 2006 13:07:28 GMT
Wow...I just re-read this whole thread and it moves me to tears....this may be one of the more emotional threads I have seen here at Kim's site!
Svenskafinx-I hope you are feeling better and that the remainder of the year improves for your health! It may take some time but keep your chin up and hopes high!
Jamma-your friend made a good choice with palliative care...she will be more comfortable this way and better able to move on....much peace with her and all her loved ones.
Good for you with the opportunity to express yourself to MM and open your thoughts to him. Letting go of any fears and simply saying things which are only held in your heart/mind can open the doors of possibility. Having expectations afterward can be a bit frustrating so continue to trust in the Universe and ask for the BEST to come to you. It somehow always works out, one way or another....just roll with the flow! Let him go through his process....and continue to take care of you!
Sopranokris-glad to know that your session was a GOOD one and hope this eclipse transforms you where you desire!
As for me, I am back home after my grandma's funeral....and glad that it is passed. A wonderful Brazilian friend gave me great advice before I went to see my family....we talked about how I could re-word my inner-voice to take more control of my emotions when issues within the family occur. She is a Scorp friend and spiritually we look out for one another! I like when someone has a different perspective and offers words or ideas which make good sense!
Astrology is something which can assist you in making sense of life's paths-it helps us understand ourselves, others and the various challenges and gifts this Life brings to our lives! Surely, lunar eclipses are part of the Big Picture in the Universe and it is truly amazing to read how it brings out things in each of our lives!
Much peace to everyone!
Hugs- GemStar
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Post by svenskasfinx on Mar 17, 2006 15:54:50 GMT
Thanks for the well wishes..
I realized something that is going on, although I can't really say exactly if is happening after this week-end or not, as my biological daughter has not written me back yet. I got word that her father has changed his mind and wants to meet up with her.
When I think about this Lunar Eclipse at the 24th degree it is conjunct HER MC, and her Lunar NN. (27 degrees Piscies I think).. this is something very symbolic for her, her relationship to her father being highlighted, as something out in the open.. I feel. Even if I am represented as the past, the Lunar South Node/ conjunct the Moon (as a transit with effects lasting from 6 months to a year) symbolicly it will be time for me to remain in the 4th house, and for him to take the spotlight.
It leaves me out in the cold, but in the end, she still will have, I hope, the 3 families I feel she has a right to.
And Kim, I guess these things happen (to me as well) because we do need to slow down and think.. and there are no exemptions....two flats! Yeah, I understand..
be well everyone!
svenskasfinx
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Post by Kim Falconer on Mar 17, 2006 22:09:22 GMT
Oh Jamma, I am in awe of your passionate outpouring to MM...and at such a poignant time with your friend's decision. I guess the bursting of emotions, and the feeling that life is meant to be lived, not shunned, gave you the courage and intension to speak from your heart...with what a result! He doesn't see you as a repulsive troll!!! (I really didn't think he did, but without feedback, we start to think all kinds of things!) Sven, I am glad your daughter's dad has changed his mind, and yes, it will be so supportive (and hectic and chaotic and emotive) for her to have ALL three families! I think she will! Yes, the two flats in 12 hours (and no computer) really took all the wind out of my purple sails! It sounds so trivial compared to the emotional complexities of other's experiences, but for me, plenty has welled up from the 'dark side'....a little has come to light...a little has slithered away to new haunts, and most of it is right here in my face! Like my Dad always said "one day at a time"...which was his mix of years in AA and his fondness of progressions! Warmly, Kim
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Post by primamateria on Mar 19, 2006 9:58:06 GMT
wow, yes this thread is showing us all that there has been some real movement with this eclipse. and everyone is being so brave even though it probably doesn't feel like it at times. Has anyone else been having some very vivid and meaningful dreams? I dreamed of an ex-lover from when I was 19 (an artist I worked with for a while) and have been conjuring up my former-self ever since by drinking lapsang souchong tea (which always reminded me of he-and-I ) and remembering what it was like to be adventurous, sensuous and full of potential. I'm glad to be here now, and strong - but recognise I'm still needing to let go of feeling scared and at risk at times. Friday night's Sun square Pluto - almost exact (I realise in hindsight) that I made the decision (out of nowhere!) to consolidate previous study efforts into a diploma, and to do shorter courses to gain skills that I can use in the near-future and now. blessings to all, pm
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Post by blueorchids on Mar 19, 2006 23:40:55 GMT
Jamma..ugly troll? Oh gosh. Naughty girl!! I think it is great that you spilled your heart out....Now you know you're a hot babe... the rest of the story....you will have to let us know...
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Post by Juliet on Mar 20, 2006 0:14:24 GMT
Hi to all you brave souls! What a lot is going on for you, and death and love and letting go seems to be a huge part of it for most of us. I'd written here a few days ago, but felt just too hmmm lunar maybe, (always the Moon in Cap) and removed it. This last week for me has taken the flavour of the suicide that my best male friend and boss committed two years ago yesterday, on March 18th 2004. Last Sunday, two days prior to the Eclipse, I was wondering if I should take off the gold chaim he once gave me, and ten minutes later it broke! I watched the Eclipse in the freezing cold, naked on my balcony. 3 degrees below Zero Celsius. The anniversary of my friends death saw Moon on my NN. I'm so bad at mourning and saying goodbye. Shedding lots of tears, and weight too. Sports finally helps. I've gained 20 kilos since that day, won't even mention the pounds... ;D. The very odd thing is that I have not needed to buy any new clothes, they're just tighter, but everything still fits. My best friend told me my weight is always in proportion, might be my Venus in Libra.
Prima, now that I reread your post, maybe it's impossible to let go of feeling scared and at risk sometimes. I certainly need just that to rekindle Eros. Eros is almost opposite natal Eros, conjunct the degree of the Lunar Eclipse.
New horizons too. I'm in a professional rut, as lots of us are, and the government has (feels Godsend) provided a program that allows me to reintegrate the 16th. I've been applying for sub-standard jobs lately, semi-depressed as I was. Have lead a theatre, and I got turned down on all applications I send to those jobs. Overqualified. The fund will hopefully help me to restore self-confidence, since I can make my own plan. There's this intuitive eduaction/coaching nearby I've been wanting to do, but was always too expensive, and might be able to qualify now. I'm well aware that this is a very luxurious position, and I'm very grateful for the opportunity. Neptune was square my MC, Jupiter going direct and retro over it, and for the first time in my life I was not able to be really creative or find purpose. That's why I've been so quiet here. Plain embarrassment. I hope you are all doing well, despite the big changes this Eclipse seems to bring with it. I've never felt an Eclipse so keenly, how about you??
The Solar Eclipse will opposite the whole Lust, Psyche, Sappho, Jup bunch, and in September the Eclipse will be close to my Sun. Challenges never end. Things just ARE. Juliet
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