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Post by tom on May 8, 2008 18:30:03 GMT
Another "Living Myth" installment, exploring how we can clean up some kinds of debris in our relationships which involve nurturing energy (most of them!): www.thecosmicpath.comI work with what Ceres in/as us needs to learn relative to the story of the abduction of her daughter, Proserpine/Persephone: What to do if we define ourselves in terms of what we do for another, what it means to be and identify as a source of creativity when the products of our creativity get up and start expecting us to treat them as equals. |
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Post by Juliet on May 9, 2008 7:07:31 GMT
Great article Tom, thanks! Could not find the article on Pallas the last time, too bad. Could you send it to me by pm, or make it available in any other way? That would be very nice.
I've found it to be so true: how nurturing myself can 'heal' any draining expectations I have of others.
My natal Ceres is at the AC in Cancer, opposite my Moon at the AC, so it has always felt natural to be the mom OR child in my relationships and friendships. Not any more though, I'm looking for equality.
Sunday is mothers day (motherhood having been the one and only really easy thing in my life) and the birthday of my boyfriend who left this week for a three months long journey!! Transiting Ceres and Mercury are conjunct my natal Persephone at 12 deg of Gemini, conjunct Juno too! I felt a bit deserted at first, but now I have my energy back and see all the opportunities his absence is offering. My journey to freedom is through this feeling of being abandoned, I have to experience it in my bones before it can transform.
Love, J
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Post by tom on May 9, 2008 18:49:40 GMT
hi juliet,
thanks for the comment. when i figured out that ceresing my self literally eradicated the undesired pattern in my relationships, it was nothing short of a paradigm shift. mine is in scorpio in the 1st, conjunct mars-uranus in libra/1st, with no other major aspects.
i pm-ed you the pallas article. not sure why you couldn't find it. the column is linked every month from the same section on stephanie's front page.
love to you too
tom
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Post by ariesmoon on May 9, 2008 20:38:24 GMT
Thanks Tom for another great article, I can't get over how I seem to find these when I need them! It's provoked me to think deeply about how it fits in my chart and how it influences me.
I have Ceres at 7.53 Cancer, conjunct Sun at 4 Cancer and Juno at 7.25 Cancer. All in the second house. Ceres is part of a kite formation - trine Jupiter/Chiron in Pisces, trine Neptune in Scorpio, and sextile to Pluto at 7.54 Virgo in the 5th.
For years I've been valuing myself (2nd house) by how much I nurture others - even to the extent of baking for workmates (just because I wanted to), lending friends money (big mistake), listening and supporting them through crises. Some real, some made up - I'm the biggest sucker I know for a sob story. Have been since I was about 7! Juliet I know exactly what you mean about mothering and about wanting equality!
I don't have children or a partner, so I imagine that's why I've been doing that. Nurturing through feeding and providing solid, practical, sometimes financial, support (Cancer and 2nd house!) It goes way back to school, where I tried to get approval by being kind to bullies. And got nothing but abuse.
And yes I do feel neglected, when I don't get the same thing back. As if I'm not loved if others don't nurture me in the same way. So I nurture myself by spending on art and jewellery (how 2nd house ..). The tough bit is realising (a) friends and lovers don't all ask for the nurturing in the first place and (b) that it can look as if I'm buying their love.
One key aspect to me is the trine from Ceres to Chiron at 10 Pisces/Jupiter 12 Pisces. I'm realising how much Ceres has impacted on my relationships - Ceres is tightly conjunct Juno and yes, I would love a nurturing partner and would love them to need me to nurture them in return. And once I'd found that partner, letting go would be oh, so tough. And Jupiter rules my 7th house of relationships. (I'm seeing this very clearly now, thanks to your article!) I fall in love, I idealise (Neptune, and Jupiter in Pisces), I give a great deal of loving, nurturing attention, it isn't always returned in kind, that causes me pain (Chiron) and in turn has fed my 2nd house Sun feelings about myself as unlovable. So I then go out and nurture myself by spending over budget on possessions. Not so much grand trine as vicious circle!!
Which brings me to the kite formation involving Pluto. I'm going through the first stages of a Pluto 8th house transit so it's been opposing my Sun, and bringing up all my issues with self worth (or lack of it). Bringing them out in the open to face them. Natal Pluto in the 5th is a tremendous creative force and I'm only just beginning to tap into the power it has. I'm just scratching the surface. But it's already providing an outlet, at last, for a great deal of "trapped" emotional energy which has just seemed to swirl around without a way out until now. Ceres sextile Pluto seems to me to be about transforming through nurturing - releasing that nurturing energy, giving it a 5th house outlet (I've been taking acting classes, and very much want to work in a healing capacity with children). And using it not in the expectation of getting anything back, but because it's a strong part of me that I don't want to deny.
It's a long post, sorry - I've done a lot of thinking! Thanks Tom!
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Post by tom on May 9, 2008 21:03:04 GMT
ariesmoon - wow! it really stirred a lot for you. but i'm not surprised, since ceres is with your sun: you came into this life needing to develop a healthy approach to ceres with your whole being. it's natural that you've gotten yourself into patterns that don't work, to set yourself up to learn ceres' lessons.
it's marvelous that you can see where you spend your ceres energy on others as a way to find out if/ensure that you're loved. and that you can see how looking to recompense yourself with 2nd house possessions when they don't reciprocate in kind might not be working for you. since the 2nd house is about self-worth and ceres is there with your sun, figuring out new ways to value yourself is no doubt a major thrust in this life.
to spark self-awareness is why i'm writing the column in the first place - i'm glad it's assisting you in opening doors into yourself!
all the best and congratulations!,
tom
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Post by Juliet on May 10, 2008 7:57:08 GMT
Yeah Tom, Thanks a bunch for sending me the article, finding things at that site is definitely not my forte! Going to read it thoroughly since Pallas plays a huge part in my sexual relationships, Pallas Mercury aspects in synastry to be exact.
More Ceres: How I nurture myself is dependent on where I am in life, right now I need lots of downtime and being on my own. (Ceres at 11.20 Ca on the DC). By taking long walks, (also riding my bike, but walking is better) by being in nature in general, near water in particular. Instant nurturing. Even a river in a big city works miracles. Kids. Healthy nurturing of others also is very nurturing to myself, healthy interdependence.
Talking with best friends. Writing. Reading, taking a bath when tired, taking a nap when tired.
Crying when sad, laughing when happy, venting anger when angry.
Nurturing means to me: acknowledging needs, whether emotional, practical or physical.
J.
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Post by ariesmoon on May 10, 2008 9:43:55 GMT
Thank you Juliet, and Tom - this thread has opened up so much for me. "Crying when sad, venting anger when angry". Both have taken me years, and have only started happening since Pluto started opposing my Sun. That's made me realise how much I've nurtured others, (most particularly my Cancerian mum) by protecting them from my sadness or anger. I love what you said Tom, about this lifetime being about "figuring out new ways to value yourself". And also that it's natural to have got into patterns that don't work in order to learn the lessons I need. I've been beating myself up over those patterns, particularly about spending - and it's so good to have that word "natural" to help me accept that it's been a necessary part of my learning process.
I'm just looking again at the pictures I buy. Without exception they are of single people - nameless, enigmatic figure studies, all with a common theme of the subjects being alone, and seeming to yearn for something or someone that's missing for them. None of them seem happy in their solitude - they all seem to project a need to be comforted - or nurtured.
You can imagine that's giving me huge food for thought at the self image I'm creating in the most public room of my home!! (I have a fourth house Venus in Leo which might explain the desire to turn my home into an art gallery!)
I've come back to modify this as there was something else lurking that I knew I wanted to mention relevant to Ceres. Nothing is allowed to lurk for long with Pluto in the 8th! Overeating - nurturing myself with sweet foods. I've been kidding myself for at least 2 years that my excess weight is to do with my thyroid problem. No, it may have been, but not now. Now it's to do with chocolate ice cream, biscuits, cappuccinos, buttered toast - comfort food. That weight problem reinforces being unloveable. Wow. Didn't know THAT was going to come out today!
How's this - I have Pluto at 7.54 Virgo, asteroid Persephone at 5.46 Taurus, the midpoint being 6.50 Cancer (and Ceres is at 7.53 Cancer!) I'm going away to think about that symbolism!
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Post by Juliet on May 11, 2008 15:24:12 GMT
Wow, Ariesmoon, you could sure use some Feng Shui!
About being overweight: while it is great to eat healthy and to take responsibilty for your health (as a way of taking good care of/nurturing yourself) being overweight is not the same as being unloveable. You are loveable right where you are now! I know at least four overweight women in very happy marriages.
It was this idea of being loveable as if it was something in the future, as a reward for growth and thus a striving for perfection that actually prevented love to enter my life for a long, long time.
As one of my happy gf's once wrote me, 'You make love and relationship sound so elusive, while any idiot can do it!'
Love, Juliet
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Post by ariesmoon on May 11, 2008 20:59:39 GMT
Thanks Juliet - very wise and kind words. It's a very personal thing for me, the weight - and I get a lot of pressure (subtle, but there) from others about it. As in "there's a lovely eating plan in this month's (fill in gap) magazine". I've got very mixed up about it and it's all being churned up now, which is good, so I can develop a healthier attitude to it. I'm getting there. It's been such that because I don't love myself at this weight so no-one else will - it's held me back from relationships more than once. Loving myself unconditionally is work in progress! Believe it or not I'm better than I used to be!
I really love your friend's words and she's right, and thank you so much too for what you've shared about striving for perfection. You've hit something there. What is perfection anyway? I read somewhere that if you find yourself striving for it you should go and lie down somewhere until the urge passes. Virgo intercepted in the 5th with Pluto there might have something to do with it (that's for another thread).
And as for the feng shui - I do have pictures of couples in my bedroom, I've got that far!
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Post by ana on May 13, 2008 14:29:58 GMT
Well I identified with the Ceres story I let go of my two boys okay as they grew up but my youngest a daughter was "abducted" at only 16 and a half by a boy of 18 and they have been together ever since It was the way it happened so fast that was hard One minute she said she felt too young to go out with boys then she was in the deep end No cuddling on the sofa watching TV No introducing him at dinners at our house So it was a shock 7 years later they are still together and he is a good person and it has always been okay I have Ceres in Scorpio in 6 not far from Eros/Vesta in the end of Libra
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Post by tom on May 17, 2008 19:36:34 GMT
hi ana,
ceres-persephone runs in families, so i wouldn't be surprised if you had your own opportunities to get abducted around her age, whether you took them or not. where is your persephone (asteroid 399)?
and with your placement, in scorpio but with eros-vesta in libra, you have a particular kind of understanding of a need to protect others from sexual experiences that might be damaging, that mght not honor a person (i feel vesta's influence makes what it touches understand a sacred use of it). i can imagine how your daughter's sudden about face with that young man woke up the ceres-eros-vesta part of you.
i think your daughter gave a gift to you in offering you the chance to trust her in that scenario, even if it was really hard for you, given the ceres-eros-vesta combo and experiences related to that you might have had. and it reminds me that trust is healing for libra-scorpio combos, and for ceres, too.
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Post by ana on May 20, 2008 11:14:21 GMT
That is very interesting Tom - thankyou
When I looked up my chart Lilith 29 Libra lies between the Eros Vesta and the Ceres Scorpio........My Persephone is in the 10th house in Pisces 7 trine the Ceres 9 in Scorpio and my Moon in Cancer 5 Hmm...................
My daughter has Ceres in 4th in Taurus and Persephone 1 Cancer exactly on my 0 Cancer Venus Her Pluto falls right on my Eros/Vesta at late Libra
It was the instant empty nest that was hard They have been very good for each other
As for me I was very much on the sofa holding hands until I was 19 while my fiance had sex with other women in secret His dad it seems said I was a nice girl and he must leave me alone or he would kill him This was in the Home Counties of England not Beverley Hills so did not mean it....... When I found out I ended it and went in search of experience and am a bit commitment phobic since then But definitely into the sacredness of sex before I knew what it even meant
But there is 39 years of social herstory between my daughter and I!!!!!!!
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