Time to let go?

[darkdreamer]

Since my fascination with "musicman" has become quite obsessive and timeconsuming, I wondered if it was good for my own wellbeing, spending so much time thinking and writing about him.
I thought maybe it was really time to let go of him, or at least of thinking about him all the time.
I guess I walked into the trap of my natal Venus-Pluto-square again. At first it started all sunny, beautiful, with feelings of adoration and enthusiasm (Venus), but then it somehow became a matter of all-or-nothing (Pluto), and I basically feel as if I have gone to the Underworld.

something inside me asks me constantly: "What are you doing? This will lead to nothing but heartache. so you better stop thinking of him, for your own sake."
So, I took that reasonable voice inside me serious, and asked if I should let go of him.

Below is the horary chart.



I`m not sure, what the answer is (even though I know, of course I should find it in my soul, not in the stars; but I thought they might help a little bit).

I am the Aquarius-Ascendant with Neptune on it. This doesn`t surprise me, since I have an Aquarius Moon and transiting Neptune is exactly conjuncting it.
Also, Aquarius-Ascendant might point towards my wish to detach, get back some objective perspective, get out of the muddy waters of that Venus-Pluto-trap. Uranus in my 1st house emphasizes this. It`s like in this Queen-song "I wanna break free".
The outcome of this question is the Midheaven, and it falls exactly onto my Neptune - NOrthern-node conjunction in Sagittarius and is only 2° from my Ascendant. Probably my decision will have great influence on my further fate or way of life.
The Neptune of the horary chart is conjunct my Ascendant, so I`m most probably seeing things not too clearly, tend to lose myself in illusions and dreams, and basically are very confused. (I also have a natal Neptune,Mars, Node, Ascendant conjunction, so the feeling of confusion is somewhat familiar).

The Uranus, my significator, is conjunct the Antivertex in the horary. This seems to indicate, that there was something fateful happening, which influenced me greatly. But maybe it also means that a separation, some detachment (Uranus) is destined (Vertex). Or it just means that everything is unpredictable and noone can see what`s gonna happen. ;D

My Significator is Saturn, and Saturn goes out into the 7th house. If I give him the 7th house, because he is the "Other", then it could indicate, that I feel very connected to him. But since Saturn is retograde, I may try to withdraw.
His significator is Sun, which is quite fitting. During t he last weeks he has really been the centre of my universe of thoughts.
Well, there`s an exat trine between our significators Sun and Saturn.
Does that mean a yes to my question? That I should let go of him?
But on the other hand actual aspects connect planets with each other, in this case our two significators. So, it could also mean that we`re connected to each other?

My other signifator, Neptune, has an applying sextile to Mercury.
Mercury is the ruler of the 5th house, so even if gave the 5th house to him (because he is an entertainer), there would be an applying aspect of our rulers.

Looking at my Co-significator Moon now.
She is in Scorpio in 8th house. Ouch!
That looks like pure obsession; it seems to point towards my problems to let go of thinking of him.
She has a close sextile to Venus, ruler of the 3rd and 8th house. It doesn`t seem that I`m gonna be able to stop thinking of him in the near future.

Oh and I just realized, today is the day of my Venus-return (my natal Venus is 6°08 Capricorn).


But it doesn`t really help me answering my question. Is this the time to stop or not?
Can anyone help me to see what I`m missing here. Thanks.

Darkdreamer

[moondance7]

Darkdreamer, I'm not skillful enough to give an answer, but just make a few observations. Your main sig, Saturn, is in a weak condition in Leo, and the ruler of the fifth is headed for combustion. Maybe this won't count as the sun is his significator,I don't know. As an obsessive personality myself, my heart goes out to you-my solar return this year had Venus in the 8th opposed by Pluto. Love obsession is the pits. Hang in there.

[darkdreamer]

Thank you, moondance,


yes, I feel very obsessive at the moment, and somehow would like to get rid of that obsession. Maybe because I feel so weak and powerless.
But speaking of solar returns. Mine was yesterday. So, in my solar return there`s a Scorpio-moon in 2nd house and a Sun-Pluto-conjunction with an orb of 36 minutes.
Also, my natal Pluto falls onto the solar Ascendant with an orb of 1°. *sighs* Feels like this will be an intense year.


DArkdreamer

[AquarianEssence]

Happy birthday, Dark dreamer. Allow all that is in the dark Pluto rhelm to flow, just go with it. You'll be glad you did. The Sun is there to light your way. This is coming from a Scorpio Moon person.

[darkdreamer]

Thank you, aquarianessence, for both, the congratulation and the advice.
Yes, I think it`s the best to just go with the flow, but it`s a hard thing for such an analytical person like me, who always wants to know and understand what is happening.

Darkdreamer