WHAT will be the End Result of Telling my Secret?

[blueorchids]

I asked What will be the end result of my telling the secret?



hat will be the end result of telling of my secret?



My initial reaction is to make certain that the MOON is moving and not void and she is on the move--to detemine the actual last aspect for the moon, the placement of POF, and check on the significators.

I assumed the SECRET was ruled was by house 12--Jupiter. Thus the ascendant and the secret are both Jupiter. The moon has just conjuncted and is moving from Jupiter in Scorpio. This seems to indicate the release of the secret and my movement away from that secret. Jupiter is slow.

In this chart Doc as 6th and 7th house is MERCURY. There are no direct aspects here. Mercury is moving to an inconjunct with Venus and the Moon is moving to an inconjunct with MERCURY. What does this mean? Clearly two things will eventually happen. Mercury has one more aspect before leaving its sign and that is a direct sextile to Pluto in my 1st house. This seems to signify a cataclysmic shift for him. Mercury of course will conjunct JUPITER but this is only after the PLUTO contact and in its next sign.

I do note that Venus is in the 9th--Mercury's house and Mercury is in Venus. In the end, The MOON gratefully will traverse a sextile of powerful women asteroids and planet. Note that the Moon is tightly sextile JUNO. What I could not see until I pulled the charts is that the MOON is actually behind JUNO at 19/54 Scorpio and JUNO at 19/55. Thus JUNO is the first aspect. SATURN IN 8th LEO is next and seems to reflect exactly my inital reactions to telling the secrets. Some relief and release-- an almost erotic relief followed that evening by deep regret, fear, repression, anxiety and angst...

VENUS is the MOON's last planetary aspect. I think this is very important and equally significant is that the moon's "sextile line" there commences with Juno and ends with Vesta and Lilith.

Why is this all occuring in the ninth house? Does it reflect a shift in philosphical growth? an education of sorts (we are learning?)Is it because he and I are "foreigners to each other" different ethnicities and faiths? And what of his MERCURY status--it is as though he is dangling out there? I note that the POF is four houses from the MOON and in the 2nd House.

[svenskasfinx]

I'm going to brush over this and try to answer a few questions:

When I saw this the other day I was clear and knew exactly what I wanted to say but had very little time to really go into the details. What stood out was the chart ruler in the 11th house with Pluto on the ASC in the first: it says to me that you have just become a friend to yourself (to me , thats what I saw).

My feelings about Mercury in this chart, not only that its the 7th house ruler but also the 9th house ruler, and in mutual reception, just like your ASC ruler is to your 11th house cusp (scorpio).

First as Kim says, and I will say I think the relationships between the rulers and their placement varifies that the chart IS valid.. The 9th IS also your Doctor, as well as the relation he has as "the other person" in the 7th house (Mercury the ruler of Gemini on the 7th) but also something more, YOUR day to day health also ruled by Mercury (Gemini on the cusp of the 6th house)

This Mercury is aspecting Pluto in the first (ruler of the 11th) but also aspecting Jupiter (the chart ruler) by Mutual reception.

What about what's to happen opening up these feelings? I think when we talk about deep secrets its the 12th, 4th and 8th houses. The ruler of the 12th house is in the 11th (but also in the First by "Mutual reception" once again... this seems to sugest that something you have done, "open up to a group or a friend"..

You seem to think Mercury is just "dangling" out there.. but its in "the public eye" of the 10th, this seems to sugest that what he says will make an impact on your situation.. that he IS the public for this situation since he is the only one you told "outside of" all others closer to you.

9th house is probably because he IS a doctor, one of the traditional educated few who we like as with religous leaders and political leaders as well as professors, we as a collective tend to place alot of "faith" and "trust" in, its only natural even if is considered "your friend" he will always have that "doctor" vibe.. even if you become "more than friends"... there is no way you will ever see him without that "doctor" image... it would probably be impossible.

Mercury is "talking to you".. your deepest personal feelings and ambitions are out there, (Mars ruler of the 4th house in the 9th conjunct the MC) not only that but Mars is the co ruler of your 11th house, and although Mars is not in the "best of signs" for Mars to be in, it is in one of the most highest places in the chart!

Leo is intercepted in the 8th house, and the ruler for Leo is about to conjunct Mars.. way up there at the top.. another indicator of a "secret" burried deep to be let out with other feelings.. publicly (9th house but conjunct MC) to a Doctor or professional council, or even a traditional "therapist" (9th house) (tradtional therapists could be both 8th and 9th depending upon their philosophical point of view)..

This chart says this situation will help you (and your doctor) heal your body and mind and get the bad feelings out in the open.. it seems to sugest a very healing process!! The last sextiles and everything seems to reinforce that having a group or a friend to go to will continue to help you in your healing, and I also see that your doctor may also be as much of a friend to you as you have become to yourself at this time..

What does everyone else think?

I hope that this has been helpful!

Best wishes for an open diologue with your feelings (I'll get to work with mine soon enough )

Svenskasfinx

[blueorchids]

Thanks Sven that really is so helpful particularly as it pertains to MERCURY!

You said: What stood out was the chart ruler in the 11th house with Pluto on the ASC in the first: it says to me that you have just become a friend to yourself (to me , thats what I saw).

Well I would definitely say that after telling him the secret I gained a bit of respect for myself on this whole matter.

You said: The ruler of the 12th house is in the 11th (but also in the First by "Mutual reception" once again... this seems to sugest that something you have done, "open up to a group or a friend".. You seem to think Mercury is just "dangling" out there.. but its in "the public eye" of the 10th, this seems to sugest that what he says will make an impact on your situation.. that he IS the public for this situation since he is the only one you told "outside of" all others closer to you.

Yes this is dead on. It wasn't a group but it was a person--- him and I consider him slowly but most certainly a true friend. The 11th house is also ideals, hopes and wishes. And in hoping for, wishing for the strength to tell him, I sort of did and I did so "publically" (voiced publically....)


9th house is probably because he IS a doctor, one of the traditional educated few who we like as with religous leaders and political leaders as well as professors, we as a collective tend to place alot of "faith" and "trust" in, its only natural even if is considered "your friend" he will always have that "doctor" vibe.. even if you become "more than friends"... there is no way you will ever see him without that "doctor" image... it would probably be impossible.

The 9th house is always ironic for me. I have natally Jupiter Sag in H1 and NN in 9th. I have been experiencing a religious crisis for two years, not a faith crisis but an organized religion crisis. Yet I do have faith in him and will never see him separate from his role, work and personna as a healer (nor wish to really). My pull to him is in part an attraction to the serene healer side of him that I see.


Mercury is "talking to you".. your deepest personal feelings and ambitions are out there, (Mars ruler of the 4th house in the 9th conjunct the MC) not only that but Mars is the co ruler of your 11th house, and although Mars is not in the "best of signs" for Mars to be in, it is in one of the most highest places in the chart!
I'm not sure I get MARS here--is it my highest inner wish to be heard? (Natal Chiron 3rd house at last gets its due)


This chart says this situation will help you (and your doctor) heal your body and mind and get the bad feelings out in the open.. it seems to suggest a very healing process!! The last sextiles and everything seems to reinforce that having a group or a friend to go to will continue to help you in your healing, and I also see that your doctor may also be as much of a friend to you as you have become to yourself at this time..

You know Sven, I read that a bunch of times and i have a confession, and this is it. the thing that keeps terrorizing me is the notion that in giving myself up to him honestly that I become weakened. I can never comfortably live with the notion that any relationship I have with him or anyone else does not entail the other also feeling helped or improved or enhanced or happier by our contact. Is that nuts? It sounds like a stupid scorecard. But I admit I just bristle at the notion of being this empty vessel that he finds on the beach fills up and sends on its happier healthier way. Grrr. I don't like the way it sounds but I hope you get my meaning. I mean I hope I am his friend.


I wanted to add that someone suggested I check the Arabic Parts and itneretsing enough DESTINY was Scoprio 28 (11th house conjunct) and BENEFIC CHANGE Capricorn 26 (2nd house sextile). Makes good sense.

[Amoroso]

Dear Blue,

I have nothing to add to Sven's and your insights--I think you both covered things really beautifully. I was stuck in the form of the question again.

You wrote:
...i have a confession, and this is it. the thing that keeps terrorizing me is the notion that in giving myself up to him honestly that I become weakened. I can never comfortably live with the notion that any relationship I have with him or anyone else does not entail the other also feeling helped or improved or enhanced or happier by our contact. Is that nuts? It sounds like a stupid scorecard. But I admit I just bristle at the notion of being this empty vessel that he finds on the beach fills up and sends on its happier healthier way. Grrr. I don't like the way it sounds but I hope you get my meaning. I mean I hope I am his friend.

I know exactly what you mean, but I think that sometimes letting oneself BE helped helps that other person with the healing gifts. By accepting "help" from him, in all it's various forms, you allow his Pisces Sun to shine!!! That has got to give him a warm glow all over.

I used to wonder why I was picking up all this golden Leo energy from C--it would rain down on me like manna from heaven and just feed and feed my own starved Leo Moon. And then I found out that his Draconic Sun/Mars is conjunct my natal Leo Moon (and just for kicks-My natal Sun is conjunct his natal Moon), and by our relationship, brought that out in him and ended up nourishing myself!!! You see? It is two-way.

Love,
Amoroso

[svenskasfinx]

This chart says this situation will help you (and your doctor) heal your body and mind and get the bad feelings out in the open.. it seems to suggest a very healing process!! The last sextiles and everything seems to reinforce that having a group or a friend to go to will continue to help you in your healing, and I also see that your doctor may also be as much of a friend to you as you have become to yourself at this time..

blueorchids said:

You know Sven, I read that a bunch of times and i have a confession, and this is it. the thing that keeps terrorizing me is the notion that in giving myself up to him honestly that I become weakened. I can never comfortably live with the notion that any relationship I have with him or anyone else does not entail the other also feeling helped or improved or enhanced or happier by our contact. Is that nuts? It sounds like a stupid scorecard. But I admit I just bristle at the notion of being this empty vessel that he finds on the beach fills up and sends on its happier healthier way. Grrr. I don't like the way it sounds but I hope you get my meaning. I mean I hope I am his friend.

I wanted to add that someone suggested I check the Arabic Parts and itneretsing enough DESTINY was Scoprio 28 (11th house conjunct) and BENEFIC CHANGE Capricorn 26 (2nd house sextile). Makes good sense.

I don't see a "healing" experience in the sense that you are "weakened" to begin with, but rather, that you are "improved" and developing (as all people who live, breathe, learn, grow, age.. ect on the face of the earth..); it is within Development you find out the fact that you have been STRONG all along.. Isn't the goal of anyone not to just wade though life without "floundering"--- but rather gracefully "swim" through life, learning that where once one way of doing things "surficed" was just "existence" the real true goal of all humanity shouldn't be just surviving and making do, but rather always improving, even with a body that is functionally weakened.. by using the mind, the heart, the spirit and other things as the energy which fuels the enthusiasum for living..

If your "Doc" is a true friend, and even if he doesn't feel the same way about you... (which BTW I highly doubt!) he's awoken feelings in you which made you step closer to being more of a friend to yourself, a friend in the sense that you awaken your basic needs that you have denied yourself for so long.

Even if something happened, a "fling" or what ever.. understand something, the energy he awoke in you was there all along, perhaps he is a catalyst in your life to make great changes and to awaken the strength in your heart, not someone to "heal" the "weakness"...It is obvious to me that no healing could ever take place without the energies inside of you.. even if in the worst case let go of this life... (as we all know, we are sadly not made to live forever in a physical sense) you need to know who you are, to have the oportunities to fulfill your heart's desires, and to accept and enjoy the power of love you have had within you all this time that other's in your life have benifited from.

Perhaps you can allow yourself to accept love, and see it as a strength, rather than you considering your being the weak form of some hollow person who has nothing but duty and can only be awakened by someone else's will to "save" you. That would not be of any benifit to you or anyone else... an Aries/Mars energy would NEVER put up with it!

Don't be afraid of "needing" someone as a weakness... but understand just because you need someone, or need love that it too doesn't make you weak but in actuality stronger.. because love and friendship as a motiviational factor is one of the strongest of energies one can use. It can really transform and help you move mountians!

As I probably need to give myself permission to earn money.. you probably need to give yourself permission to accept love. Maybe we all need to give ourselves the permission to accept love and allow that not to take away our personal will but rather the suport of love being a strength to use as a starting point for personal growth...

I hope that I've dispelled your fears about this.. and I hope that understanding this, and saying it out loud and validating that what you need isn't going to make you weak and dependent but rather quite the reverse. I feel at least to a certain extent your doctor really is someone you care about, and someone who cares about you.. just as a friend should. Take it to heart.

Be well,

Svenskasfinx

[blueorchids]

Thank you Sven and Amoroso for your lovely thoughtful words. I do think part of the maturity process perhaps is learning to accept the kindness of others. I think when you feel strongly for another you want to bring them such joy and generosity. You want to almost feel selfless. I worry that he has 1000 people coming in there gavetching and boohooing away and I am just another. But I recognize that part of that is ego--wanting to be more than the others and this has really not been about that but in some ways feeling better and healthier. The feeling I have not been really familiar with other than with my babies is that sense of I would lay myself wholly down for this person without blinking, because of the strength they seem to make you recognize in yourself. Weird but cool.

Thanks again.