Should I Postpone my Appointment?

[blueorchids]

Friends I could use some feedback on this.

For reasons I only partially grasp, I have had an extraordinarily emotional past three weeks.The children started back to school, but our oldest began high school. It has been a remarkable lovely three weks for him. He seems happy and challenged and is blossoming in front of my eyes. I am able to say less and to listen more, and I feel my time with him as directing mom is beginning to wind down, but i was struck by how poignant it has all been.

As I walked to pick up my younger daughter from school I one day last week forgot that he would not come through the parking lot and meet up with us. And for a minute I kept checking my watch and then it dawned on me swiftly that he would not be coming through the lot. That he would never come that way again and the three of us walk home. I was in tears and still am when I think about it.

I am making this longer than it should be, But anyway, I have been working nonstop for a month now. I dont know if this the Saturn Uranus Neptune thing with me or just feeling like I don't have any room for dreams really just my work. Or maybe its just me battling back the challenging Mars arc Venus Natal conjunction. At any rate I have my doctors appointment next Tuesday (the last one was in June), and I simply do not want to go.

For emotional and work reasons, I feel as though I cannot get my head properly into it. I haven't written Doc for weeks. I want to continue hunkering down and not be distracted or racing away with my feelings. In a phrase I simply want to postpone it all until later into the Fall. I asked the Horary should I postpone my doctor's appointment next Tuesday? I don't know if I should go to house six as this is medical related--- Mercury? The Moon's last aspect is conjunct the Sun in Virgo--everything is in virgo! Perhaps most telling is the PLUTO directly on the Asc; I am going through a great deal of eruptive feelings.

Any feedback is appreciated. Sorry to have been so bloody absentee of late. Perhaps I will get it back into gear soon.

[Amoroso]

Dear BO,

I promise to come back to this Horary tonight. I have wondered where you were and knew that you were coping with many things.

Children growing up and the changing relationships with them are truly rites of passage for parents.

If there are no pressing health concerns to keep your appointment, just postpone it. I have often been thankful that C has not communicated with me, because I just got tired of being that riled up all the time. One can not live with Eros on a day to day basis, although with him conjunct my Chiron, inconjunct my Psyche and trine my Sun, he sure tries to rent a room!!!! You are permitted to give yourself this space.

I will return,

Amoroso

[Amoroso]

Gotta do this on this on the run. I have not taken the proper amount of time to really study the chart, and lately I feel like my horary skills are nada.

Anyway, interesting that Mercury rules both the 6th and 7th, both the appointment and Doc. (Is that right?) There is an applying semi-sextile between your rulers, and while there is not a whole lot of reception between the rulers, Mercury is in Venus' sign and Jupiter is in Venus' term, which rules the MC--the public appointment I would think. Another interesting thing is that the Moon was last over Saturn in the 8th, the letting go of your son perhaps.

But before you reach Venus you are in opposition to Uranus in the third. I think you will cancel or postpone the appointment and this may be a bit of a weird thing for him. But it would be OK to do so.

Please, someone who can read these things give your take!!!

I think it is a loaded question. You asked "should I cancel the appointment," which was laden with all the anxt you feel over this man and what the appointments "do" to you. I think horary is just answering the basic question. Yea, it's OK to cancel, given that you reschedule.

In a relationship question one also looks at Venus and the Sun as secondary significators of the woman and man and their attraction to each other. But I am not sure that this question warrants that. What is interesting about this is that Mercury is in Venus' sign and Jupiter is in the Sun's face. There is a bit of reception there.

Has this been at all helpful?

Blessings,
Amoroso

[blueorchids]

Thanks Amoroso. I just got back from a back to school night event at our daughter's school so my head is swimming a bit. Yes like you I found it interesting that he and th emeeting are ruled by Mercury at 6 and 7th then the Moon and Venus are in Mercury as well. Interestingly enough the Moon is going to move to an INconjunct with Mercury and Mercury is going to move to an INconjunct with Jupiter. I do not feel up to going but I also know that I have not missed an appointment in 12 years. This highlights the dangers of having allowed all the feelings between us to rise and bubble up in a patient care situation when I should be focused on my health. I did not intend to cancel but to postpone to perhaps even try to call his assistant and make a new appointment, hopefully before Thanksgiving. The Moon will also oppose the NN in H3 before conjunct with the Sun. It seems as though the decision will be met with some challenge and disruption regardless.

Thanks again.

PS- I wonder if it would be usedul for me to draw up an event chart for the appointment? Maybe I will try to do that.

[svenskasfinx]

Hej Blueorchids-

Not to sound like the party pooper, but that semi sextile between Jupiter and Mercury maybe be something of concern: With Mercury ruling your 6th and 7th, as well as 9th (your doctor as a doctor) It says to me that there may be something "out of ballance" and with a semi sextile they say "bad for health questions but good for money questions" - The Moon about to Sextile Jupiter says to me that there is an opportunity there for the health of your body via your doctor (9th house) again, however, Saturn which is coming into aspect to Pluto via the 8th house may say something about the schedualling of some kind of surgery? Its a trine so there is harmony with it.

This is why I think you should stay in touch with your doctor and not reschedual. I also don't see this a anything possibly "romantic" but something "doctor related" as so much of the 9th and 8th house are a factor.

I hope this has helped- please consider not reschedualling, as it seems like time could be a problem with any events such as decection of something out of ballance.

please be well,

svenskasfinx

[Kim Falconer]

Hi BlueOrchids,

I can feel your concern here, and the stress...also the 'defence against too much emotion', which is perfectly natural. I empathise with you and your uncertainty about the visit.

You know I don't like 'shoulds'. I don't think that is what horary is designed to assist us with. A ‘what will happen if’...or a ‘why do I feel’....kind of question is more supportive. Astrology is a map. We get into trouble when we ask the map to tell us where to go. It's just showing us the terrain.

I know you know this, and like Amoroso said, 'It's a loaded question.' I suspect that underneath you are asking something else but may not be aware of it.

With Pluto exact on your Ascendant, I encourage you to keep the appointment, simple as that.

Pluto rules 'Necessity' the ancient goddess of fate. You may not want to go right now, I understand that. I also feel that you 'must'.

Something has 'happened' with you and Doc (in the astral? in your unconscious? don't take this literally, but something energetically has occurred and you aren't comfortable with it--)Your ruler at 16 Sag by mutual reception was just one degree PAST the square to the ruler of Doc and the ruler of the appointment and the whole physical exam etc. Something went 'crunch' and I think you can't stand the thought of 'one more feeling of loss'....just say if this is all wrong...it's only a thought I am getting right now.

I think you have to be very courageous (again, still) and face this day, this appointment and this man that you love.

It is YOUR choice though, and I support and respect whatever you intuit is the most authentic action. Meditate on it and then decide. See if you can unravel the 'why', then your decision will be clear.

What is it, exactly, that you want to 'postpone'? That would be the place to start!

Sending you light and love and expedient clarity.

Kim

[blueorchids]

Thanks guys for all the comments.

What am I postponing? Hearing that bloody nurse say, among other things,I see you've gained three pounds since May!


I am sort of serious. Let me say the PLUTO on the ascendant did give me such pause. I wish I knew entirely what is going on with me. But this I know for certain. My son's growing up and going off to school and me spending all of August preparing for it made me realize the time is just marching forward, One day I am going to be in this house without my children, whom I love deeply and have spent all of my time planning, thinking about and working with.

When they go am I going to be like my mother --stuck and terrified to break out on any level? Is this the life I want. Do I need to just get over Doc, over him and excise all of this shit. Postponing going Tuesday gives me several more weeks to make some sort of decision about him.

Nothing has happened with him. It's happening with me. When he came back from his vacation I could feel in his letter that he didn't want me to think he was ignoring me. But in an eerie way I have gotten to know him like I know my children. I know the moment he says anything remotely "over the line" or intimate to me he is going to disappear from the email vortex. Nothing has happened and perhaps that is the biggest something of all. In the back of my head I see one of us saying we have to stop this--this whatever it is. I don't see either one of us saying let's go full throttle. So anyway maybe I am inmy heart biding time to be the one to say it or simply girding the energy to go on languidly without my/our emails and back to the old me--which sat in that corner.


PS Kim my natal ascendant is 13/14 Sag. And the new eclipse will fall directly on my MC.

[blueorchids]

I just wanted you guys to know that I decided to go ahead and go. I woke up right before the 22nd eclipse covered in blood and realized that my period had been triggered early for only the third time in 30 years. I have been bleeding nonstop since then. Doc is actually an endocrinologist with women's health experience so I will bring it up. I am scared but attempting to absorb the advice given and to plow through--hopefully with some clarity on my part. I think I know what I feel. I just don't seem to like people knowing which is not so good.

I did run the appointment time chart but it like the horary is very intense. A tight Moon Jupiter conjunction in House 12 square 10th house saturn and a tight Venus Pluto square. To intensify matters transiting Mars is conjunct dead on his Libra Moon tomorrow. Clearly we will both be bringing emotion to the table. Be well folks. I will try to use this horary and the appointment one as "homework" after all is said and done.

[Kim Falconer]

Blueorchids,

I support your choice.

Menstruation is a peculiar thing...a barometer sometimes. The voice of the moon coming through our bodies. Something to listen to.

It takes courage to let others know how we feel. It takes a risk. If we don't ever do it, we live in isolation.

Good luck.

I'll be thinking of you!

Kim