there are bad signs?

[kansara]

I have a question and I don't know at all how to start interpreting.

Is about a relationship I want to start for long, long time but nothing happened for different reasons. I feel sometime when we made a step forward will be fallow 3 backward!

I used to like this guy from childhood, but we wasn't close at all. After madly dreaming about him, I start recently feeling maybe is just my imagination feed lots of illusion about him and my feelings for him and I wonder sometimes if I am not obsessed about him! Last year I didn't saw him 8 moths because he was abroad, (maybe you remember I put Q about where he is) After he came back we didn't have the same opportunity to meet like before. Even then we didn't exchange too many words!

In fact before he left for this long period of time in one moment when I was upset on myself I can't let him go from my mind and soul and I ask God to do something to help me stopping seeing him, if is not mean to be, because if I don't see him maybe I will be better! After that he left the country and didn't saw him 8 months!!!!

Now that he is back I don't see him often the same especially because just few weeks ago, one place, kind of small pub where he spend lots of time in or around and where I always had the chance to met him was demolished!!!

How to interpret all these, is really a sign that is better to give up hoping and dreaming for a relationship with him, all these changes which take us apart try to show my (like I asked, to don't see him anymore if is not mean to be) that he is out of my reach and I should give up? Plus sometime I start feeling tired to dream so much about him and nothing real happen!

Sorry I can't post the chart, I don't know why I have this problem!Maybe somebody could help me posting the chart.

Q was put on 8th April 2006 time 15:01 Bucharest Romania

The asc is 24:13 Leo, but Moon is separating from all the significators, mine (Sun), his ~ if I take 7th house (Saturn) or if I take 5th house (Jupiter) But is conjunct soon the Asc. Maybe separating aspect shows in fact these aspect from the past I've talked about?
The last aspect Moon does is trine Mars, ruler of 4th and 9th. Also me (Sun) will apply to Mars by trine in some degrees! My 9th is his 3rd if I consider 7th house matter maybe he will try to contact me somehow or is somebody else will came in my life and I will forget about him?

I suppose I should take 7th house, even I am still in a marriage I am trying to finish at the moment but my feelings for him was true and I was hoping for something serious between us, not only an affair.

Thank you for any help in understand better this matter!

[Kim Falconer]

Kansara,

I have posted the chart and declinations. Can you state clearly what your question is?

Then we can see how the chart may describe the situation.

My feeling when you talk about how you asked for help to stop seeing him 'if it wasn't meant to be' and he was gone and the venue gone, well!!! I thought, she's powerful!

You may very well have an obsession going on that has nothing to do with a real relationship with him at this time. That is not a bad thing, neither is it a good thing. It is an obsession, just as it is.

I think it's very important not to judge this energy, but to follow it like a thread down the path were it is leading you.

We've all been there or are there or will be there again! So again, be gentle with yourself and these intense feelings. These kinds of 'obsessions' seem to happen when something quite powerful is waking up in the unconscious. It fixates on feelings for someone outside of ourselves but may be our own animus asserting waking up!

It may help to ask what part of yourself you think this 'man of your dreams' represents?

Let us know the question, Kansara, and then we'll look at the chart.

Warmly,
Kim

[kansara]

Thanks Kim for your words, are really helpful!

My question is if I should consider the fact I can't see him like I used to, (because all the things I was explained about) like a sign that I should give up on him because nothing will ever happen between us.

I am not sure if I was more clear this time!

Maybe is the 12th house matter because of the hidden signs which I should consider and is Moon again! is separating by me, Sun from 3 degrees, and if I am honest since last three days I was for the first time more cooler about him, I realize I can't counting like this anymore! But Moon is in fixed and cadent house this time is unknown by rules, but only this I can related, or just coincide with.

I am waiting or your insight!
Thank you!

[Kim Falconer]

HI Kansara,

Briefly to start with, the Moon is on the Ascendant, last over Saturn which shows your emotional state over an enduring matter. This has been going on for some time!

You are ruled by the Sun and co-ruled by the Moon. He is ruled traditionally by Saturn and then by Uranus. I am giving him the 7th house because 'this is a relationship that you have wanted to experience for a long long time!' I think he is very much a '7th house other' here.

I think we can boil your question down to 'will anything ever happen between us?'

"Anything" in this case means 'any significant love relationship'.

Is that about right? You also want to know if the SIGNS you've been experiencing are telling you to LET GO.

Signs/symbols are ruled by Mercury and Synchronicity (meaningful events that coincide with inner experiences) belong to the 12th house.

So what is the message here?

To see what may happen between you two, we look for an aspect between your rulers. There are none, which suggests as you suspected 'nothing will happen'. However, we have an aspect by declination between your ruling Sun and his ruling Uranus--they are contra-parallel and nearly exact. This is a separative aspect and may reflect the fact that you have been separated for some time now. Like the opposition, the contra-parallel indicates distance. It doesn't indicated coming together, unless a third, faster moving planet connects the two. This is called 'translation of the lights' and the only faster planets that could do this would be the Moon or Mercury.

Neither Moon nor Mercury can help as they are already past approaching aspects to the rulers.

That both your rulers are in the 12th house of 'Meaningful events" seems to say that 'there is a message in those signs.' But then we also have an approaching Parallel of declination from the Moon to Saturn, there in the 12! I get the feeling there will be one more sign, a very clear one, and you will 'know' what to do.

The Moon is next sextile Mars and trine Pluto. I think you will take strong action. The finally aspect of the Moon seems to be a trine to Fortuna, so I think the action that you take (perhaps the decision to 'walk away' and let go of something that is not nourishing you at this point in time, will lead to a sense of joy and happiness.

Could all this energy towards him be blocking your from a relationship with someone else? Who has approached you that you’ve dismissed?

Can anyone else offer some comments here?

I'm going to think more about the 'sign' aspect of your question over the next few days.

Warmly,
Kim

[kansara]

thanks Kim! it seems future looks bad, as I felt...

Could all this energy towards him be blocking your from a relationship with someone else? Who has approached you that you’ve dismissed?

I don't know for sure, anyway my husband is trying very hard to keep our relationship, or better say our marriage but for many reasons (not only the other guy, which is not even "real" in my life) I don't want him anymore. So can be somone else thinking which didn't approaching me?

[Amoroso]

Just a quick horary question on K's chart:

Why don't we count the eventual square between the Sun and Saturn? Even though the Sun changes houses, she doesn't change signs. ("She" being a rather Freudian slip, huh!)

K, it is hard to explain, but you must see that what this man has "woken up" in you is real, even though a relationship may not be possible. These feelings are teaching you what you need to be happy and thriving, to be closer to expressing your real self. It is sometimes a long journey to understanding this, and everybody figures this out in their own ways.

Perhaps he has helped you to figure out what you need in your relationship with your husband, and only you and he can decide if these things can grow between you two. I know from experience and understand how you feel.

My dear brother recently "fell in love" with someone over the Internet that he met through a reputable dating service. He was ready to fly half a country away to meet her, only to find out that she was really a male reporter who had deceived him in order to "get a story."
He was heart-broken and felt like a fool. I told him that the feelings awoken in him were REAL and he could turn the energy into something useful and beautiful. I also told him that the anger he must feel had to come out first. He is doing better, and has actually moved to a new city and a new job where he is very happy. All your feelings are valid and important.

Blessings,
Amoroso

[kansara]

thanks Amoroso, I will try to understand what he has "woken up" in me, is quite hard and I don't understand why I was so attracted to him for ages!!! I've always think he is the best looking guy ever! And these feelings came and go, I try so hard all my life to ignore him and move on! found other relationships and is enough to see him once and i am back again in my thoughts about him! Maybe you will laugh but he was my first love at age of 6 or 7 years old! Both we are now in our late 30's! Of course that time I wasn't conscious attracted to him, we changed, things changed and now I thought this time maybe we could have the chance but still we can't be together!!! I must meditate deeply about all these! But for sure all these happened for a reason and that I should find it in me!

And also for sure my relationship with my husband can't learn anything from this to help it gettig better!

Thanks!

[Kim Falconer]

Amoroso, That was a very insightful and supportive post. Thank you for reminding us all that the feelings we have are valid regardless of what outer manifestations eventuate. I think that reporter that deceived your brother is up for an ethics enquiry at the least. He's breached more than just a few codes of conduct for journalists and internet researchers!

Okay, sun square Saturn? in the horary? That doesn't happen until the Sun moves into Taurus, or did I misunderstand? Did you mean the Moon parallel Saturn approaching by 2 degrees? I did think of that...It could be a meeting or conversation in the future between Kansara and this man. To take advantage of Saturn, it would be wonderful if things could be discussed practically, saying clearly how each feels. It's possible.

Kansara, please don't think we would ever 'laugh' at your long time love for this man. I respect your feelings in this and also honor your courage to explore them in any way you can.

I don't think the 'future looks bad'. If you can trust that your feelings are awakened for a reason that might transcend relationship with the 'messenger', then your future open to new interpretation.

You say are in a marriage that you don't want anymore. That must feel lonely and isolating. Perhaps when you and your husband resolve the marriage, one way or another, things will change for you both quite dramatically.

Thank you for sharing so much with this horary.

Warmly,
Kim

[whiteheather]

Something similar happened to me, Kansara, (though not with someone going back to age 6), and Amoroso, you are absolutely right -- there is a purpose in these kinds of encounters and what they awaken in us. I also was in an unhappy marriage, but was so busy with my life I hardly noticed how lifeless my relationship with my husband had become (actually, lifeless is the wrong word, we fought a lot, which can give the illusion that there is still hope), until I met this person. What he sparked in me was truly miraculous in terms of intensity and thoroughness. I started to question my whole life, my marriage and the way I was living, and what had become of me... Nothing ever happened between us, but for a year at least, and in a way beyond, he meant the world to me. And I came to realize after a while that his role in my life was indeed very important -- he was an unwitting catalyst for my reawakening, and for that I am grateful, even though of course it also made me miserable.

But, things never proceed in a straight line, at least not in my life, so there were (self)doubts: what if what I was feeling wasn't real, what if this was just a midlife crisis, and so on. But astrology did shed quite a bit of light on this matter, and it definitely wasn't all in my head. There are always astrological reasons for these kinds of attractions, but that doesn't mean they are meant to be consummated, although we are meant to experience those feelings.