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Post by pm on Feb 3, 2006 3:25:26 GMT
dear Juliet, thats such happy news that you're falling in love! can you hear those lions roaring in your heart? pm
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Post by jamma on Feb 3, 2006 6:15:59 GMT
Congratulations, Dr. Jade ... What a wonderful dream -- all the poison flying out after you "operated" (the culmination of all the internal work you have been doing?) on your inner child via Alchemy -- wow! ... And with her ear healed, now your baby girl can hear your comforting words ... I think childhood wounds (especially psychic ones) can get so scarred over that our conscious mind may forget they are there (a survival technique?) ... Or they happened before the "I" and "me" were fully differentiated (like your infant self), and we didn't yet have a verbal way to name the hurt ... What a lovely way to celebrate Venus moving forward again ... Love, J P.S. ... and looks like synchronicity moving in sync with Venus -- the rep of the company that owes you a refund having the same name as the man who owes emotional recompense! ...
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Post by svenskasfinx on Feb 3, 2006 19:40:02 GMT
Thanks everyone for the kind commentary and remarks...
Kim, I think my brother is in the state of shock because he's not really acting in his right mind and I feel that my mother wants to be able to understand his state of mind, but there is one problem, her own emotions of nearly losing him are always going to be under the surface of their conversations and thus she, who is usually very much "to each his own" to the point of bending over backwards is really just coping with the new emotions of wanting to "control" someone else, if even just a little bit.
The turning of Venus to stationary at 16 degrees Capricorn actually means alot to my mother, since its one degree from her ASC at 15 (some odd minutes) Capricorn. Its in her first house though.. and she says in spite of everything that's been happening she's feeling good.
As far as acting as mediator between James and I, she's always played that part because the two of them LOVE TO TALK to each other.. and when he calls she hangs on the telephone as long as she can. If he actually gave me a number I'd talk to him directly, but for some reason I feel he thinks I abandoned him... by falling in love with someone, years after him, moving away (even though we were just friends at the time) and even though I hung on to him for 6 long years in my young life. It was only after the fact he actually tried to to make the "move" to do all the things he "should" have done.. for example, letting me see his room! Letting me know his last name.. and in general, he was a nice person but had a few strange phobias.. and his constant excuses for the reason why he didn't open up were that "You are going to leave me anyway..." it was after I realized, this is really hurting me and I gave up so much to be his "lover" eventually after a number of years (and giving away one of the one things I wanted in life because of him) I thought of myself first.
I had to move on, and my mother's hand was in this too.. because she helped me out to go to a better college but it was out of state. It must have taken away some hope for James.
Last time I saw him, he surprised me, didn't even write (because I didn't have a telephone) but just showed up on entrance of my building in Chicago, with absolutely no notice. Naturally I took him in and he stayed for a week, no monkey buisness. But still, this is what I had to deal with... I'm not complaining either, but he really is losing out if he can't open up to his biological daughter, to this I feel he has to have some kind of feeling for his own family, for he has no children, no wife, no relationships, and neither do his sisters as far as I know. His mother was very interested to know what I was up to, and about my son, probably due to the fact she doesn't have ANY grandchildren (that she knows of).
I think I should write her. I think my daughter should write to her biological father and hopefully get a response.. its the least he could do...I think. I have given her his last known address, long before I got this low self esteme response. She doesn't want him to feel awkward, but I feel you are correct Kim, who could say No to the child who wants to find you?
Thanks everyone,
be well,
svenskasfinx
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Post by Amoroso on Feb 3, 2006 21:59:30 GMT
I'm sorry I haven't commented more lately. I really did not realize that Venus retrograde would have such an impact on me until it turned direct today. Things have definitely taken a turn for the better on the feeling level.
Part of the problem for me is that Saturn had retrograded back to semi-sextiling my natal Venus at the same time!
Oi.
Blessings on all, Amoroso
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Post by Amoroso on Feb 3, 2006 22:41:40 GMT
I forgot to mention that Venus Rx was opposite my natal Psyche...
Amoroso
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Post by Kim Falconer on Feb 3, 2006 23:06:27 GMT
Wow, so much going on in this thread. Juliet, you know I'm such a romantic at heart and am really excited to hear of your feelings of falling in love. How interesting that retrograde Venus brought him back. Let's see what her forward motion brings. PLEASE let us know what happens on Sunday! What degree is his Cap Mars...I'd love to see his chart...and the progressed composite. What brought him back now? Jade, that dream is wondrous. What a beautiful metaphor...I have Chiron coming up to my 10 degree Aq Moon in the 6th...interesting! Sven, your life is so complex right now...I do hope your daughter writes to dad directly. It probably won't be 'real' to him until he holds her words in his hand. That could change things. Amoroso, I feel a strange kind of turning with Venus....like something’s about to shift but it hasn't budged yet (if that makes sense). When Venus was stationary retrograde, I was working on-line (as I do), researching for the update of Eros into Pisces and I got side tracked reading an article on Fung Shui & relationship. It said that if you have a lot of 'single' images in your bed room, and if one side of your bed is pushed up against a wall, you are NOT creating space for someone to enter you life. I thought, Right! I tore off all my sheets and bedding, dragged the heavy futon out and moved the frame so it turned 90 degrees. Now there is room to walk around both sides, and the view into the gardens is actually better. But the interesting thing is, WHILE I was doing all this rearranging, I got four phone calls (over an hour and a half period) from 4 men, 3 of them asking me out! –this is NOT a common occurrence, I promise. I don't want to 'be' with any of these guys, but it was an interesting event non the less! Kim
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Post by Juliet on Feb 4, 2006 1:12:10 GMT
Well, romantic Kim (Great what you did with your bedroom!!! These things wórk! Even more so when done at the day Venus moves direct... ) The progressed composite is rather interesting, cause there is a Sun, Moon conjunction at 29 deg Cancer, and Venus is at 29 deg Cap. Sun could also be 29 deg Cap, the chart says. Mercury is at 25 deg Cap or Cancer. I don't know his birthtime, so no houses known. Transiting Jupiter hits Sappho at 20 deg Scorpio, or does that not count? His Mars is at 20 degrees Cap. Guess where Venus was when I wrote him? Right. Actually it was me coming back... In october I'd found all his old loveletters in a old schoolbag my mom had given to me when she moved house this summer. Thought I'd send him a note, since I had been so evasive long ago, feeling so guilty, because I went back to my boyfriend out of fear also. Felt the need to write and talk to him to settle old scores, something like that. I had not done that till two weeks ago I heard he has been having heart problems. Sent him a postcard and he immediately called. I'm falling in love, but he's evaluating his life now, wondering if he not wants kids after all and stuff... Chiron on natal Venus. I dare to keep my heart open though. He told me he thinks I'm beautiful! That's one step. J
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Post by Juliet on Feb 4, 2006 1:15:12 GMT
Jade, your dream is so lovely... So sweet to yourself. Juliet
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Post by svenskasfinx on Feb 4, 2006 11:07:20 GMT
"Oh gosh Sven, "You're going to leave me anyway".........If I hadn't heard that..... That's like hearing, "I'm so unworthy of your love, here, let me screw it up by treating you like crap".... It sounds like he still must feel unworthy on some level. Your story sounds as complicated as mine but in mine there were not children involved. Except that when he came back, he had a child from the women he walked out on me for during my surgeries! Granted, they went sour together, but that is no consolation to the healing process I'd already been through for three years prior of him, like yours, showing up on my door step unannounced. I'm a broad minded person, but that was simply asking for too much. Anyway, lately I feel over him and the whole objective of getting on last spring, was to get to this point when he would be a memory......with Chiron's help, albeit challenging, I feel I've made it......I did this for me....." Hej Jade! The odd thing about it all was just that there was never "anyone else" involved (aside from the past with the child ect) I mean it was like taking a test all the time. That's all I can say.. that's what it feels like. When there is another woman (and child!) involved what can one do? Men are so strange sometimes. I've had my fair share of strange men too! And that was only a short time previous. I had an ex who neglected to tell me he was engaged! (I was only 17 at the time) I found out when he didn't see me for a week, and then I went to "confront" him.. actually visit him at the record store where he worked.. and there he invited me to a wedding, along with another ex of his who I ended up bumping into there.. She was angry.. I think I dropped something.. it was a shock! At the wedding (the friend in question James invited me to go and help him out since it was his band playing and I was invited).. I was told by the bride, to leave.. and then my ex the one who invited me, LIED to her and said, "I didn't invite you, but I like the fact you are here, and you are welcome to stay" She must have known the truth since I had only known him for about 5 months! Why she married him seemed weird in the first place. But hey, youth and ignorance can get you off the hook sometimes... and I didn't have to think about what was wrong with him because I didn't understand any of it... I didn't even feel any anger either, that was because I was with my friend (James) at the time (although not together as a lover)..but when we did get together he hid it up to this very day. To the core of things, he didn't want to be percieved as "weak".. and I think that's what his problem has always been.. some kind of image or facade he put up. Strangely enough the man has been all the time much of a peace maker, and he is an exotic combination of Henry Kissenger and James Dean, but looks like Tom Baker (in the early days)..he IS worth knowing, if he was only brave enough to be known. thanks for sharing your experiences Jade, everyone seems to have their own pain, and I totally thank you for sharing yours.. hope everyone's future is brighter with love! svenskasfinx PS- Kim, Feng Sui is a really intersting tool.. I questioned my husband about where he had his bed, because he bought himself a new bed in the "loneliest summer of his life" and because it was bigger, he moved his furnishings around.. and a few months later, we met each other. Yes, it was symbolic of making room for someone else, but it was also that when he bought the apartment, its possition it was in in the building emphisised on "marriage" as it was in the correct sector.. I think all things came together when he got a new bed and placed it correctly (without knowing it).. I've always been amazed at the way the energy flows though a home when you have everything in the proper place... even a new colour can help create new opportunities in the correct place! Some of the changes that happen will ALWAYS happen when the energies start to flow properly.. and many missed opportunities will beat their way to your door! Even if these men are not suitable, they will help create opportunites for you to meet the one who is suitable. Best wishes!
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Post by Juliet on Feb 6, 2006 0:12:54 GMT
Hi. My last lover had very low self esteem too.... He was not good enough for me, his house was not good enough for me, his street was not good enough. A self fulfilling prophecy; very very sad. Let's hope James will be brave enough to feel enough for your daughter, Sven! Slightly off-topic maybe: my ex bf from 25 years ago and I kissed tonight!!!!!!!!! I feel like a teenager. I think he's extremely attractive and sexy. Asked his birthtime today and his AS is 18 deg Cancer, conjunct my DC at 10 deg Cancer. The AS of this first (might be last.... ? nohooo way) kiss is 13 deg Libra, the composite AS 13 Aries. Comp Vertex at 12 deg Libra, where my progressed Moon in 7 is too. Synchronicity. It's very lovely to meet again as quite conscious adults. MC of the kiss conjunct his AS. One moment in time, and I do not know what will come of it. But it felt very good. Love to all, Juliet
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Post by samina on Feb 7, 2006 4:38:02 GMT
wha... Juliet, *my* ex bf from 25 years ago and I kissed last night!!!! LOLOL His ascendant is also Cancer, although I'm not sure of the degree and whether it's conjunct my own Cancer sun. You and I definitely have some parallel energies going on! I ran into my old bf on Saturday nite when we were attending different parties that were adjacent to each other in the same banquet hall, and we got together for a long dinner last night! Our own kissing chemistry is not good -- wasn't good back then, and isn't going anywhere this time round, either. LOL But it was still great to catch up, and he really looks fabulous! What a hoot. samina
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Post by Juliet on Feb 7, 2006 8:44:21 GMT
Samina, idiot, isn't it! He also was from 25 years ago??
Funny isn't it, how one can appreciate the other, and there might be emotional, mental chemistry or whatever, but that the physical chemistry just is not there... But I hope you had a nice night anyway! Juliet
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Post by samina on Feb 7, 2006 15:25:53 GMT
Yes, Juliet, we had a great night -- the chemistry thing for me was a big disappointment, because there is so much emotional chemistry. But... c'est la vie. It was sweet nonetheless. The synchronicity of our two experiences, tho, is amazing! What's your birth info? I'm 6/21/64 @ 1:35pm, Wilmington, DE. Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, Libra Rising; Venus, Mercury, & Mars all in Gemini. With Venus retrograding through my 4th house, I've had a huge *purge* of my living space (basement & closets), as well as any relationship-related emotional baggage that hadn't yet been cleared out. My home looks and feels so different from the way it was before Venus went retro. Is your Venus in the 4th as well? Am curious if you've experienced something similar. The fact that we reunited with old boyfriend's from so long ago at the same time must point to some shared facet of our charts, I would think! All the best to you & your re-surfaced lover! samina
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Post by Kim Falconer on Feb 8, 2006 21:28:29 GMT
Hands up, how many people kissed their boy friends from 25 years ago the other night? ? Wow, that's so interesting. What I would like to see is an event chart for each 'kissing'!!! I wonder if the chemistry differences (Juliet's clearly had it!) would show up. It would be great to post them on the Horary Thread! Kim
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Post by samina on Feb 9, 2006 3:42:56 GMT
LOL Will duly post on the Horary thread... samina
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