WOW Prima-THANKS!! ;D
What a fantastic reply to open this morning!!
I appreciate the link to the other forum with a thread on the subject. And yes, even the word 'anaretic' is a bit creepy and negative soundiing....
Thanks for noticing the Sun-Moon sextile...I really feel that this is going to be a big year for me. Though I am not entirely sure of the actual 'activity', I am sure that my determination to walk forward into a new dimension of my work life will happen. Having worked for myself over the last 2-3 years has been an amazing change for me and has called me to believe in myself. There are still too many days where I doubt my abilities and seemingly want to fall back into the easier 'corporate life' where the pay is steady. HOWEVER, the boxed in feeling and limited possibilities in many ways turns my stomach.
That 10th h Uranus-Pluto conjunction square Mars
natally will push me to do new things...and I have to laugh sometimes because so many people DO work for themselves.....and not the 'Man'. Ha,ha....I love that 60s term!!
Natally, transiting Saturn is moving up to the MC and I am freaking out a touch because I have made this move.....and now need to figure out the next one and feel stressed that I have not worked hard enough on my current project-which is huge (and doing well I might add).
My friends will tell you that I am way too hard on myself and expect way too much in a short period. (Says who? Who is right?) My whole life was working hard at various jobs to achieve goals.....summer camp I paid for, University studies, paying off school loans, home ownership etc..... You know, the usual things and without parental financial support, it has always been a push for me. That is cool....I have done it and have far exceeded financially past any of my friends, who had monies given to them.
It is rather interesting how that has worked out.
Yet, I still think I have not done enough. I do not have a great gauge to know the balance of
trying/working overly hard VS
taking it easy is OK feeling. Since I am doing the latter over the past years, I wonder if taking a break will be a mistake for me. I hope not.
Over these past few years, I have realy spent my time leisurely on my house project...mostly because I had the feeling of being burnt out and worn out. So, I used this time to nourish my Spirit, relied on my hard-earned savings to support myself, and basically, recharged my batteries along the way. It has been good for me...though my conscience rides me with guilt that I have not pushed harder.
So.....with transit Leo Saturn moving up to declare itself on my natal MC, my feelings are mixed. Have I worked as hard as I can? What if this whole 'break thing-taking my time thing' was to my detriment? I do not feel so in my soul....but hey, what do I know?? Ha,ha....no, I KNOW. It has felt like a Blessing to have the money and time I have used for MYSELF over the past few years. Too much pandemonium in my life from 1999-2002 was the REAL drain. I felt as if I had lived 5 lives with the amount of chaos that rained down on my 'secure' life. Whew. It feels like I can get through anything after those days....and know that I will make it somehow. How many of you have felt like that? I liken it to having your heart broken the First Time. After that experience, at age 19, I knew I would never hurt that bad again (re-love) and that I was free to give my love and know that if it did not work out, I would be fine!! Totally unafraid and able to be open for anything. (Selectively of course!!)
Ok...off on one of my many tangents.....a tad difficult to contain this Gem-gal's thoughts....
Back to the Solar Return......OK....Moon in 10th looks great! Thanks for the excerpt on that one! Your interp was on the money because I began to really 'connect' with what it is I want to be 'known' for over the last 3-4 weeks. Meaning, this SR energy must've come into my life already as my thoughts began to solidify and focus on the Universalness of my future....the Big Picture if you want to call it that. I have a great desire to give something to the world that will make a difference. A BIG difference. And it is on my list of things to accomplish in my Life. There has not been a timeline for it thus far but NOW would be OK with me....it is something far beyond my little world.....and having this deep desire is really
something else! A calling of sorts that has always been inside of me....and needing expression. A contribution to this world if you can imagine. It encompasses 'change' for everyone on levels which will bring consciousness to the surface. Very subtle and will hopefully bring more emotional happiness to the everyday lives of us all.....my idea I feel is worthwhile and possibly, timely for the world. All things in that interpretation no less!! ;D
And yes, I saw that Pan on the ASC....ewwww. As long as the pandemonium is not too destructive and I do not lose everything I have left, I can rest calmly. I am comfortable with chaos though.....my natal Mars squaring Uranus/Pluto gets energy from walking through the flames of such times. Often, I am at my BEST with complete upheaval-if that should fall upon my life.
Upheaval in the work arena would be cool with me.....a turn is due and I am looking around at the moment to figure out which way I want to walk. Because I want to keep my current project (I need to live SOMEWHERE!), I am being pushed to discover new ways of income (selling this home was to be my income-oops!)....and am considering my writing project. BUT, I know those things might take time.....or maybe not. It is an idea which WILL throw me into the public eye...I have no doubt and have visualized the outcome. It could be HUGE success....but I must find the inspiration to complete the first book. Is this the time? I dunno. Could be. I just do not want to sink financially......and I also feel a bit daunted that 'I' could be someone who achieves this level of success. Yes, a tad self-limiting in my thoughts.....and this must be corrected! (**
She puts on a determined face**)
Thanks for your postiing....I do want to make new dreams come true this year.....it is time and I can feel the energy rumbling inside of me......like engines revving! Also, with Leo in the SR first house, it may be time!! Now if I can look at the Mars-Saturn conjunction there in the 1st h SR, as a energizer, I would like that!! Hmmm....maybe a stretch??
Hugs-
GemStar
ALSO, what does it mean that these all are placed at this critical degree--- SR ASC 29-Can, SR Sun 29-Gem (11th), SR Eros 29-Taurus (10th), Aries AP 00 (9th) and Pholus 00-Sag (5th)?? Is this significant?? These placements seem like a lot to have on the cusps of all these energies/signs.....!!?? Hmmm.....what do you make of it?
ALSO, what does it mean that these all are placed at this critical degree--- SR ASC 29-Can, SR Sun 29-Gem (11th), SR Eros 29-Taurus (10th), Aries AP 00 (9th) and Pholus 00-Sag (5th)?? Is this significant?? These placements seem like a lot to have on the cusps of all these energies/signs.....!!?? Hmmm.....what do you make of it?
No wonder my DESC HAS to be 29 Aries!!!!! I have the Neptune-Mars energy all over my chart, thank god, or I would never put one foot in front of the other.
