one-sided eros aspects (synastry

[sarah5]

Hi! I'd be curious to hear about people's experience with one-sided eros aspects in synastry i.e. where one person's eros forms one (or more) strong aspect(s)with the other persons planets and/or asteroids. However, the other person's eros isnt making any aspects at all!

Have you ever experienced this kind of scenario and if so, who felt the attraction...the person with or without eros aspects...or maybe even both??

I'm interested in your experience because I think it was on a website called Chiron & friends I read a short description of how eros works in synastry. And there the astrologer claimed that from her experience it is the eros person that is enthralled with the planetary person.

But as Kim always seems to be warn of 'cookbook' descriptions as aspects can go both ways, I'd just would like to hear about people's real world experience so to speak.( As I said I'm particularly interested in hearing about the special case of completely one sided eros aspects)

Many thanks!!

[nine]

My eros formed aspects with my college boyfriend's sun, moon, mercury, venus, mars, neptune, vertex, pan, psyche, and eros. His eros didn't form aspects with any of my planets, but did form aspects with my vertex, psyche, eros, and asc. So overall I definitely had a more activated eros.

I was completely crazy about this guy. I'd been in two relationships before the one I had with him, but this guy really awakened the sexual side of me. We started out as friends but there was always a very strong attraction. We broke up a few years ago and became friends again last year, but thankfully the sexual attraction has faded significantly.

Even though his eros was hardly activated, he was definitely into me too. It was a really great relationship--lots of passion but also good friends--and the best the one I've had besides my current relationship.

[Kim Falconer]

Hi Sarah5 & nine,

Yes, That's Zane Stein at Chiron and Friends who says often the person whose Eros is most activated will feel the most 'charged' in the relationship...the most affected. He’s got a good point and I respect his insights. I do find it can go both ways though and I'm also convinced there is 'chemistry' between people that isn't defined or limited to the birth chart (consider the chart can be of a building, an organization, a mouse, a tree—as Liz Greene always says!) The chart and all the bodies and points do tell us so much...but they don't tell the whole story.

I think it's important to remember that someone might have oodles of Eros aspects with another person's Eros, Mars, Venus etc yet if they are disassociated from their erotic nature they won't 'feel' anything. It's all detached and repressed. Of course, they may feel 'unwell' around the other person and wonder why (energy has to go somewhere) but they won't associate the other person with their own sense of passion. Another person might lack specific Eros aspects to someone and still find their passions awakened big time! This is why we have to be careful with the 'cook book' approach. It's great for learning what things mean and how they 'may' express but people are complex and unique. They don't always fit the mould...(fortunately!)

I've experienced Eros as projection in that I had no Eros contacts to speak of in the synastry and they had quite a few yet I was 'awakened' and they oblivious (to my charms!) I think a person whose natal chart has strong Eros aspects to the inner AND outer planets/Angles is a lightening rod for Eros...they will feel what is going on in spades, while another whose Eros is un-aspected in the natal might just go 'huh'

Other comments?

It's an interesting question. Thanks.

Kim

[sarah5]

Thanks nine & Kim,

I was also thinking that maybe it has a little bit to do with how receptive the planet is which is touched by the partner's eros.

Maybe planets like the moon or venus would naturally 'feel' more of the other's eros energy than more outgoing planets. So a venus eros conjunction/opposition would still be felt by both people. ...Or who knows maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part...the Venus (and a number of other planets) of the man who has by far had the greatest effect on me opposes my eros...in our progressed charts, his eros and my psyche are conjucnt.

I think we both should be quite at home with eros energy. His natal sun makes a tight conjunction with his eros, there are also a number of other eros aspects in his chart. In my case, I'm not at all surprised I react so strongly to this eros energy with this man. Eros is all over my natal chart...in my first house, out of bounds, forming an opposition to venus & mercury, conjunction with saturn and, and, and, and...

Coming back to our synastry...I have to admit, I am a bit 'nervous' though that it's like the dessert the other way around :-(..... basically NO aspects from his eros to my planets or asteroids...no matter how many asteroids I plucked in on astro.com. ( his eros only forms a meagre 0 degree sesquiquadrate with my pluto, plus a wide (3 degrees) conjunction with my lilith. Dont know whether that would even count. In any case nothing major.

Any thoughts are more than welcome.

[erosinvirgo]

Have you looked at midpoints ? and draconic charts ?

[Kim Falconer]

Sarah, what orbs are you using? I find much wider ones are effective for Eros to the personal planets, in particular for conjunctions and oppositions, squares and inconjuncts (30 and 150). --and, good point about which planets might 'feel' or receive the contact more readily. How connection a person is to the energy the planet represents will determine how much they respond.

The progressed Eros/Psyche in the composite is quite significant.

Ultimately it is you and he who are 'in it' and not the charts! The charts represent something and the key here is 'represent'. It's up to the two of you to interpret the energy as you wish.

Warmly,
Kim

ps As erosinvigo suggests, check Draconic and midpoints for a 'bigger picture'.

[3rdhousenorth]

Kim said,

I think a person whose natal chart has strong Eros aspects to the inner AND outer planets/Angles is a lightening rod for Eros...they will feel what is going on in spades, while another whose Eros is un-aspected in the natal might just go 'huh'

Oh, I can vouch for that! I have strong Eros aspects, beginning with (!) being at 0 degree Aries and thus on the Aries Point. Kim pointed out all my Eros connections quite awhile back on my Eros Report (excellent!). I'll have these ultra strong feelings sometimes and the other person may not get it at all. Although it may be worse when they do!!

The latest eclipse was at 28 degrees Pisces - is that close enough in degree from the Aries Point (and my Eros)? May mean some need to let go of things there...

3rdhousenorth

[sarah5]

Hi Kim, thanks for your feedback.Regarding orbs...well, I've increased the orbs to 150 percent on astro.com....still, all I got for him is that single lonely sesquiquadrate from his eros to my pluto.Oh well. Yes, I know, a chart isnt the ultimate truth, nothing can replace real experience, but I guess considering that him and I are still in a very confusing inbetween stage, where I have no clue what he is thinking/feeling, I guess I'm desperate for some reassuring 'facts' to calm my nerves :-)

Kim,I was just wondering, how do you see venus opposite eros in synastry?(provided that both people are in tune with eros)Do you think of this energy as a distinct two way street? Do you (or anyone else)have any experience with this particular aspect?

3rdhouse..., the instances you mentioned when the other person was completely unaware of anything, was it just your eros which was involved in the interplay?

Thanks for your advice to have a look at draconic charts, have never worked with them, but will try now.

S

[3rdhousenorth]

3rdhouse..., the instances you mentioned when the other person was completely unaware of anything, was it just your eros which was involved in the interplay?

Sarah, I'm sure now since I don't have their charts anymore, and I wasn't aware of Eros until fairly recently so I didn't do their charts to include Eros except in a couple of more recent cases.

Eros forms a yod (quincunxes) from my 8th house to my Merc/Venus/Pluto in the 1st and my Jup/Nep in Scorpio in the 3rd. I think it also widely sextiles my Mars. So anything that set off my Venus, for instance, sets off that yod pattern with Eros. Set off love and attraction (Venus) and I also get Eros and Pluto. Not to mention Jup/Nep stepping in to spin out an overly optimistic fantasy about the whole thing! That whole pattern is just going on in me - the guy may pick up on some of that energy or not.

Not sure if that helps you, but it's my example!

3rdhousenorth