Post by tom on Dec 3, 2008 18:06:33 GMT
hi aphrodite,
it started with me when i looked at juno's story as an archetype that we live. i wrote about it last year in one my first "living myth" columns.
as a counselor i want to understand how people live the archetype. saying she's the scorned wife isn't enough.
i have to ask, why is she mad? what makes her scorned? etc. because her husband's jumping on everything female that's moving.
and after spending some time with it i realized it can have to do with expected commitment levels.
in the column i wrote about the scorpio-libra resonance juno has to get at the root of this. here, i'll just paste the column here:
Living Myth: Juno & Commitment
Note: Each myth that we live has many sides to it. In this month’s Living Myth column, I’m approaching Juno from one angle, that of commitment, recognizing that there’s more to her story. Ideally, you’ll note that there’s more to it and take this as an example of how to look more deeply into a myth than you might be accustomed to doing, perhaps see how Juno might be playing out in your life, and take the perspective with you as you explore the other myths of your life.
Juno as a myth we live involves the unfolding process of learning what commitment is, and the ins and outs of living lives functioning in terms of commitments made. Her story is not merely about marriage, and the asteroid in the chart does not signify merely the spouse or partner, but is about the kind of commitment that comes with traditional marriage and our experience of choosing and living it, and understanding the realities, complexities and implications of that kind of life – whether we marry according to traditional lines or not.
When we hear of Juno as the scorned wife of Jupiter, bitter and wreaking violent havoc in the lives of his illegitimate offspring (of which there were many), we’re challenged to dig deeper than the image of scorned wife. Some questions that can come up along the way:
• What is commitment?
• What kind of circumstances are right for us to make them? What about necessary? Sufficient?
• Are there different kinds, levels of commitment? How do we as individuals understand each?
• How do we build relationships with people that reflect and honor our needs?
• How do we choose the right kind of people to have the right kind of relationships?
But let’s start with the correlation of Juno with Libra and Scorpio, the signs of two kinds of human relationships. Libra is the sign of one-to-one relationships, any we have with those we perceive as equals. Scorpio is the sign of relationships to which we open up our deeper selves, opening to trust and intimacy – this is where we engage in naked honesty, as Steve Forrest says.
In the natural zodiac, Scorpio follows Libra. In Libra, we’re learning to relate to others; about the conceptual framework and, then, the realities of fairness, equality and harmony. Libra is said to be the sign of balance, fairness and harmony, but the reality is that Libra is the sign of learning these things. Of attempting to navigate the landscape of relatedness – it’s the first sign in the zodiac as a cycle that has us taking what we’re up to into the realm of other people.
What ideally transpires in Libra is a bit of push-pull between the needs, wants and realities of self and other between the two people, hopefully teaching each about him- or herself. Relationships happen because the result is some kind of development of reciprocity, of balance between them. There are, of course, many definitions of equality and fairness (is a relationship wheel greased by a division of labor? If so, how are duties and responsibilities assigned to each person? Etc.), and chances are that when two people get together, notes need to be compared and compromises reached. And this is how it’s supposed to be: Relationships are major drivers of our change, which is to say our growth.
And then it’s on to Scorpio, where we tear off each other’s clothes and, um, “know” each other.
Or something like that. With the point being meeting each other in Scorpio has a less-genteel and more business-oriented mandate than Libra, whether or not sex/sexuality is involved, whether or not the relationship itself has anything to do with sex or sexuality. The essence of Scorpio is in finding just how far we can go into the territory of another before we lose our sense of self. It’s not the merging and surrender to the greater whole engaged in by Pisces, but a desire to get as close as possible to another being. To get inside how the other being feels. (Which is, by the way, all about Source – the energy of Scorpio makes you think you’re wanting to get close to another person, but you’re actually trying to get close to God/Goddess/Source – the Scorpio part of you is that part that knows that merging with another is actually merging with Source in the form of another person.) Additionally, we’ve all heard that Scorpio rules shared resources. We all need relationships in which we trust another enough to share resources.
So, given all this, let’s turn back to Juno. The relating lessons of these two signs help flesh out the terrain of Juno as an unfolding process, but we have to add more. Essential to the Juno story is that she makes the commitment of her own free will, and expects the man to whom she commits to do the same…and when he doesn’t, she gets angry.
For Juno, and for those of us creating a Juno story with our lives, part of the healing opportunity is in gaining awareness of the conditions we’ve attached to the giving of our love. And it is after all love that we’re talking about here, but an expression of it that becomes to some of us a political gesture, an arrangement – relationships, after all, are about politics, not love. Love is about love and nothing else, and there are no rules that govern the real thing. Any agreements that we have that seem to be about love are in truth about something else, for love exists outside our particular choices of which humans to give it to and share it with.
There are two nuggets here of what Juno can learn:
1. Love is an active force, and exists outside our selves and choices.
2. Giving is loving if nothing is expected in return.
Love is an active force. Basically, love happens. Love moves us and changes our lives. Love is, and love does. Love is and does not because [insert whatever here] –no, no, it just is and does.
Giving is loving if nothing is expected in return. When you expect something in return for your love, you’re actually trying to engage in what is tantamount to a business partnership. “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Or, more common, “You nurture me like my mom refused to do, and I’ll let you avoid talking about or facing your feelings.” Or some variant on the exchange principle that holds that there is work to be done associated with the love – that there’s a transaction to be had.
Juno gives her complete fidelity to Jupiter and expects his in return, but he never gives it – he is running around getting Biblically busy with everything female that moves. Juno will eventually learn that just because one gives something, it doesn’t automatically mean that something (of equal or greater value) will be given to one in return – no matter how serious and life-altering the thing being given is, like absolute faithfulness.
And it hurts. Let’s not forget that behind anger is pain. Juno in the stories lashes out against Jupiter’s illegitimate progeny because she’s hurting. She feels disrespected, and sees in his behavior what amounts to a deliberate ignoring of her level of commitment to the relationship. That’s what she perceives, anyway. What Jupiter’s really up to is just doing what he wants: Running around, having fun, getting off. And instead of taking a step back to check in with the obvious reality that they are clearly defining marriage in different ways, Juno lashes out, in admittedly rather creative forms of dealing out doom to those poor illegitimate kids of his.
Aside from the opportunity to step back to get that their definitions of marriage differ, she also has the opportunity to understand the motivations she has for giving what she gives. If her eyes open to what’s really going on, she’s likely to see that she’s giving in order to get. And isn’t that more like commerce and politics than love?
There are times when, and this moment is one of them, I see Juno’s biggest growth opportunity in taking responsibility for having given away her power, and in taking back her power. The healing shift of those of us living Juno’s story seems to me not in seeking revenge when we feel wronged, in thinking our pain and anger are due to the actions of others, or in vowing to stay single and avoid all potential pitfalls of commitment. It’s in understanding our expectations of fairness and equality and letting our behavior be guided by our increasing awareness of our motivations, which are informed by our desires and needs.
If you’re wondering what taking back your power might look like, I can tell you it likely involves accepting responsibility for how you’re creating your life – that it’s been exactly how it has been so that you can see what is it that you do, so you can proceed with ever greater awareness. And then starting with yourself before other people, meaning that you learn to take care of your own needs and then go get with someone else you want to share with.
it started with me when i looked at juno's story as an archetype that we live. i wrote about it last year in one my first "living myth" columns.
as a counselor i want to understand how people live the archetype. saying she's the scorned wife isn't enough.
i have to ask, why is she mad? what makes her scorned? etc. because her husband's jumping on everything female that's moving.
and after spending some time with it i realized it can have to do with expected commitment levels.
in the column i wrote about the scorpio-libra resonance juno has to get at the root of this. here, i'll just paste the column here:
Living Myth: Juno & Commitment
Note: Each myth that we live has many sides to it. In this month’s Living Myth column, I’m approaching Juno from one angle, that of commitment, recognizing that there’s more to her story. Ideally, you’ll note that there’s more to it and take this as an example of how to look more deeply into a myth than you might be accustomed to doing, perhaps see how Juno might be playing out in your life, and take the perspective with you as you explore the other myths of your life.
Juno as a myth we live involves the unfolding process of learning what commitment is, and the ins and outs of living lives functioning in terms of commitments made. Her story is not merely about marriage, and the asteroid in the chart does not signify merely the spouse or partner, but is about the kind of commitment that comes with traditional marriage and our experience of choosing and living it, and understanding the realities, complexities and implications of that kind of life – whether we marry according to traditional lines or not.
When we hear of Juno as the scorned wife of Jupiter, bitter and wreaking violent havoc in the lives of his illegitimate offspring (of which there were many), we’re challenged to dig deeper than the image of scorned wife. Some questions that can come up along the way:
• What is commitment?
• What kind of circumstances are right for us to make them? What about necessary? Sufficient?
• Are there different kinds, levels of commitment? How do we as individuals understand each?
• How do we build relationships with people that reflect and honor our needs?
• How do we choose the right kind of people to have the right kind of relationships?
But let’s start with the correlation of Juno with Libra and Scorpio, the signs of two kinds of human relationships. Libra is the sign of one-to-one relationships, any we have with those we perceive as equals. Scorpio is the sign of relationships to which we open up our deeper selves, opening to trust and intimacy – this is where we engage in naked honesty, as Steve Forrest says.
In the natural zodiac, Scorpio follows Libra. In Libra, we’re learning to relate to others; about the conceptual framework and, then, the realities of fairness, equality and harmony. Libra is said to be the sign of balance, fairness and harmony, but the reality is that Libra is the sign of learning these things. Of attempting to navigate the landscape of relatedness – it’s the first sign in the zodiac as a cycle that has us taking what we’re up to into the realm of other people.
What ideally transpires in Libra is a bit of push-pull between the needs, wants and realities of self and other between the two people, hopefully teaching each about him- or herself. Relationships happen because the result is some kind of development of reciprocity, of balance between them. There are, of course, many definitions of equality and fairness (is a relationship wheel greased by a division of labor? If so, how are duties and responsibilities assigned to each person? Etc.), and chances are that when two people get together, notes need to be compared and compromises reached. And this is how it’s supposed to be: Relationships are major drivers of our change, which is to say our growth.
And then it’s on to Scorpio, where we tear off each other’s clothes and, um, “know” each other.
Or something like that. With the point being meeting each other in Scorpio has a less-genteel and more business-oriented mandate than Libra, whether or not sex/sexuality is involved, whether or not the relationship itself has anything to do with sex or sexuality. The essence of Scorpio is in finding just how far we can go into the territory of another before we lose our sense of self. It’s not the merging and surrender to the greater whole engaged in by Pisces, but a desire to get as close as possible to another being. To get inside how the other being feels. (Which is, by the way, all about Source – the energy of Scorpio makes you think you’re wanting to get close to another person, but you’re actually trying to get close to God/Goddess/Source – the Scorpio part of you is that part that knows that merging with another is actually merging with Source in the form of another person.) Additionally, we’ve all heard that Scorpio rules shared resources. We all need relationships in which we trust another enough to share resources.
So, given all this, let’s turn back to Juno. The relating lessons of these two signs help flesh out the terrain of Juno as an unfolding process, but we have to add more. Essential to the Juno story is that she makes the commitment of her own free will, and expects the man to whom she commits to do the same…and when he doesn’t, she gets angry.
For Juno, and for those of us creating a Juno story with our lives, part of the healing opportunity is in gaining awareness of the conditions we’ve attached to the giving of our love. And it is after all love that we’re talking about here, but an expression of it that becomes to some of us a political gesture, an arrangement – relationships, after all, are about politics, not love. Love is about love and nothing else, and there are no rules that govern the real thing. Any agreements that we have that seem to be about love are in truth about something else, for love exists outside our particular choices of which humans to give it to and share it with.
There are two nuggets here of what Juno can learn:
1. Love is an active force, and exists outside our selves and choices.
2. Giving is loving if nothing is expected in return.
Love is an active force. Basically, love happens. Love moves us and changes our lives. Love is, and love does. Love is and does not because [insert whatever here] –no, no, it just is and does.
Giving is loving if nothing is expected in return. When you expect something in return for your love, you’re actually trying to engage in what is tantamount to a business partnership. “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Or, more common, “You nurture me like my mom refused to do, and I’ll let you avoid talking about or facing your feelings.” Or some variant on the exchange principle that holds that there is work to be done associated with the love – that there’s a transaction to be had.
Juno gives her complete fidelity to Jupiter and expects his in return, but he never gives it – he is running around getting Biblically busy with everything female that moves. Juno will eventually learn that just because one gives something, it doesn’t automatically mean that something (of equal or greater value) will be given to one in return – no matter how serious and life-altering the thing being given is, like absolute faithfulness.
And it hurts. Let’s not forget that behind anger is pain. Juno in the stories lashes out against Jupiter’s illegitimate progeny because she’s hurting. She feels disrespected, and sees in his behavior what amounts to a deliberate ignoring of her level of commitment to the relationship. That’s what she perceives, anyway. What Jupiter’s really up to is just doing what he wants: Running around, having fun, getting off. And instead of taking a step back to check in with the obvious reality that they are clearly defining marriage in different ways, Juno lashes out, in admittedly rather creative forms of dealing out doom to those poor illegitimate kids of his.
Aside from the opportunity to step back to get that their definitions of marriage differ, she also has the opportunity to understand the motivations she has for giving what she gives. If her eyes open to what’s really going on, she’s likely to see that she’s giving in order to get. And isn’t that more like commerce and politics than love?
There are times when, and this moment is one of them, I see Juno’s biggest growth opportunity in taking responsibility for having given away her power, and in taking back her power. The healing shift of those of us living Juno’s story seems to me not in seeking revenge when we feel wronged, in thinking our pain and anger are due to the actions of others, or in vowing to stay single and avoid all potential pitfalls of commitment. It’s in understanding our expectations of fairness and equality and letting our behavior be guided by our increasing awareness of our motivations, which are informed by our desires and needs.
If you’re wondering what taking back your power might look like, I can tell you it likely involves accepting responsibility for how you’re creating your life – that it’s been exactly how it has been so that you can see what is it that you do, so you can proceed with ever greater awareness. And then starting with yourself before other people, meaning that you learn to take care of your own needs and then go get with someone else you want to share with.