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Post by primamateria on Jun 21, 2006 13:13:56 GMT
Hi AE - this is interesting... thanks for all that about Chiron - a big theme with me for a while now with Chiron square my natal sun (10 tau)... and conjunct Psyche/Ceres (9 aqu). And of course my natal Chiron is in the 10th and four degrees from my NN, so has recently been getting that transit too...I've done a lot of reading and contemplating the archetype and myth of 'the wounded healer', and have attempted to acknowelge it in my self.
you wrote: Could the married men symbolize the union of self and Self? Just a thought. Often if we view strange happenings from a symbolic perspective, they begin to make sense.
you could be right about that.. but they are immediately and obviously completely off limits to me... remember that NOde? Over the weekend I had a breakthrough in the realisation that I have rejected the world of men, and perpetuated my own alienation from anything masculine - and with this the masculine in myself...ah..there is more to it than I will go into here, right now.
but yes, interesting that this should happen now as I recall that period following my previous NN return that I attracted many unavailable men to me then too... and was less discriminating, unfortunately.
peace, pm
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Post by AquarianEssence on Jun 21, 2006 13:33:11 GMT
I had an interesting experience a few days after my 1st husband choked me. My folks wisked me off to the west coast with them and on the drive, I pondered and shared my interpretation of a scripture with them. The disciples asked Jesus, when this woman had been married to this man, he died, his brother married her.....when they get to heaven who will she belong to? Jesus answered, "In heaven, there will be no marrying or giving in marriage." My pesher, interpretation shared with my folks was, that perhaps Jesus was saying that when we get to the heaven mentality we will no longer view women as something to be owned. People will join as equals, by choice. Within an hour they both broke out in a round of herpes, my step-moms being much more severe. They had many years ago gone through a growth process that involved having an open marriage which ended abruptly when she actually cared about someone she was having sex with. My dad then became very threatened and put an end to it. I wonder if he really did though. Pondering that over the next few years along with studying a little Hebrew led to my discovery of the word pesher already mentioned elsewhere.
I'm not in any way trying to condone relationships with married people. I don't think too many are ready to be on the receiving end of that one. But our view of marriage is starting to change. As a side note, my dad's ancestors born Joseph Smith who founded the Mormon church.
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Post by primamateria on Jun 22, 2006 4:06:50 GMT
AE that's quite a disturbing story!  I wish I could give you a great big hug. .... I logged on just now to tell everyone that this morning I went for a coffee at my local cafe and ten seconds after I sat down a man sitting nearby called out to me - my God you're as sexy as hell! Man Magnet! anyway - turns out this guy is a poet and songwriter and quite a successful one at that! We got chatting and exchanged email addresses.... This is turning out to be quite a transit  joy! |
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Post by AquarianEssence on Jun 22, 2006 8:43:56 GMT
Cool! Sounds like you're helping to redefine the square. ;D That sun must have really been publically shining through you.
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Post by 3rdhousenorth on Jun 22, 2006 11:54:51 GMT
Wow, PM! I told you were magnetizing men and those married ones just happened to be nearby to pick it up. Good that you're now magnetizing available ones! Good luck, and have fun!
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Post by tom on Jun 23, 2006 0:33:22 GMT
re getting what we want:
last night at my channeling class i was partnered with the teacher because there was an odd number present.
before starting i'd noted questions about some family stuff i wanted answered, specifically stuff about my dad and my relationship with him (my resistance to one but the pull of tons of guilt about it - he's slowly destroying himself and it breaks my heart on the deepest level, so it's unhealthy for me to visit or keep up, but how can i ignore him? and so on).
the session started pretty normally with a scan of my body and her comments on what she felt, and then she said, "what i could tell you next is stuff that you know but are playing that you don't remember. it's big." it felt like a warning, as though she was respecting that i might not want anything intense. i said, "great," and she began telling me stuff about him that i've been wanting to know in order to feel better about making desicions on how to proceed with him, and then stuff on a lover from the karmic past...who isn't incarnating now so that i don't get distracted. (!!)she's staying out so i keep reaching up and opening to spirit. which explained two tons of things that i've been trying to get through.
she said, "she's not here. stop looking for her. get your head out of the clouds; she's not up there. she's here and helping you. let go of the idea of finding her and you'll be able to experience her as she is now, being a really good friend right here, right now, who's helping you." and i realized all the ways she's been helping me over the last few years, and it was rad. making a few dozen connections about this thread of experience and people who've been helping me with what i'm asking for.
one of the things said about my feeling for her is that in relationships i tend to feel like i'm being unfaithful, which is entirely true - before now i've never been really available and have had no clue about why or what to do about it. and since with the woman i'm with now i don't feel that way at all, i asked if the one i'm with now is associated with that karmic lover , and the answer was "as a stepping stone...and they'll keep coming" - so yes, she is. and a lot of things about my dynamic with her started to make sense.
i see this yammering as relevant to this thread because i've been focused on the transiting nodes through aries-libra, being in aries-libra bootcamp for a while (i have placements spanning 3-25 libra including ascendant, and chiron on the descendant in aries), and maintained a high level of openness for what was happening when the south node transited my pluto at 3 libra. so it was the last of the placements to get the pass, and since staying in an awareness of what my pluto issues seem to be, things have been taking off like crazy. so on the aries point after transiting the whole sign (my uranus, mars, ascendant, pallas, venus and pluto), i was expecting something new & hot to happen, something about new directions. (it's in my 6th, and the thought i have on that is that the channeling work i've been doing for two months has grown very strong, and i'm pretty certain my future work involves it - so it's being in school...in aries in the 6th: going for new skills that are aimed at serving?)
i'm having a tiny sense of freedom take root today. hearing what i heard last night helps me trust a little more in a big picture, because the info on my dad and the past lover contextualized so much for me about unconscious processes i seem to have fed my whole life. my work for the next few days is to journal as much as i can to process all that came through, as it feels entirely large - i feel i've been given the key to the next large chapter of my life...simply because i asked for it and made room for it, opened up to receive it.
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Post by tom on Jun 23, 2006 15:57:36 GMT
thanks, jade. i get a little self-conscious watching myself write or talk about this stuff because it's been almost two years of nonstop...i guess the word seems "melodrama" - it just hasn't slowed down. and i always have something to share that feels supercharged. i almost get tired of it - i keep thinking others do, too.
thank you for the support.
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