Thanks Samina!! I had not really looked closely at this Full Moon from the opposition angle until YOU mentioned it!! THANKS!!!! ;D
Yes...I am feeling anxious of late. My love is dealing with some pretty heavy things and hiding out at the moment...and hopefully, will be calling soon with changes occurring. To make things worse, my ex-husband's wife called me the other night (rarely ever happens...no reason to call me usually) to let me know he was back into his addictions.
My ex has been clean for the past two years and really getting back on his feet financially....and now has fallen apart. We have been divorced for nearly 5 years.
There isn't anything I can do...it isn't my issue nor is he my husband anymore. His wife (recovering addict herself) was at her wits end and wanted to know how I dealt with the chaos. Well, I divorced him after the first smatterings of such ugliness. I didn't put up with any of it....siimple as that. She doesn't know me other than what my ex has told her...and we had a great marriage until his bi-polar issues were evident at a later age. I am stressed for both of their sake and encouraged her to look out for herself....and try to help each other get straight again. What more can I say.....they met in rehab and married shortly after their release. A major No-no apparently in the recovering stage of addictions. But....hey, they are adults...and co-dependent to the MAX.
So....I am ready for something new.
What is new?
Well, my father asked me to go for a two-day trip while my step-mother is visiting Paris with my step sister. So, we are going to his favorite French restaurant on Los Olas in Ft Lauderdale....one which he and I ate at nearly 25 years ago on a similar trip we took as father and daughter post my parent's divorce. He has sensed my pulling away and I think wants to figure me out.....or see what he can CHANGE about my thinking!! Hee-hee....
This will happen next week....mid-week actually. I feel prepared and not really going to feel self-defensive about my Life. Or myself either. This tr Pluto square chiron transit has helped me sort out the hurts and break away from the abusive cycle of my family. It has been full of different hurtful events....yet, these events pushed me to not be a victim anymore. To see through my illusions and let go of my dreams that they will value me me differently. It just IS. And FINALLY, I believe.
I BELIEVE that this family will not change....so I must change. I let go of my wishes and understood that it is OK to be alone...alone in the sense that I do not need to put up with disrespect from my family...just because they are my family. I do not put up with it anywhere else in my life....as this was an area I had accepted without changing myself.
No more. My Cancer Moon had clung on lonnnng enough!! So, this trip with my Dad will be a test of sorts.....and
I am ready!! In the meantime, I have been busy working on my project....looking for a new job so that I can let real estate take a break and be prepared to buy again as the market gets softer. I love my house and though have lots of money in it, am happy to be staying in it for now! Something big is bound to happen work-wise! (Financially)
OH...and the other day I booked my ticket for Christmas....to be spent with one of my Best Friends (30yrs) in Denver....thus, not with my rude family. I must admit, I was feeling guilt as I pushed the key to purchase the ticket....knowing my Dad would get angry...my mother already knows and told me how selfish I was being (she is just mad because I am not there to cook the meals!!)...and my Dad will most likely tell me that I have no right to overlook the family and do my thing.
Whatever......I am strong and very excited to be spending a Holiday where people love me and cherish the time with me! ;D
As far as Argentine Tango dancing goes....oh, I am due for a long trip to Buenos Aires soon...so we shall see!!
Take care and I will keep you updated!! Go FULL MOON!
Hugs-
GemStar