Ruler of 5th or 7th?

[whiteheather]

I am wondering -- people often want to assign the ruler of the 7th house to the person they are in love with, even when it is most probably just a fling. My question is - does the intent and or intensity of one's feelings determine which ruler is for the other? If I am single, but I just want to have an affair, would I assign him the ruler of the 5th? If I am married but aiming for a divorce and already in love with someone else. might he be already the ruler of the 7th because my intentions are for more than a fling? And if I love someone very much, but KNOW it could never me more than an affair, however transforming it might be, which house would he rule?

I hope this isn't too convoluted...

[Kim Falconer]

Oh oh...it is convoluted but that's the nature of the question!

This has been discussed and YES, it's tricky sometimes!

The general rule is the 5th house is for lovers and romantic love affairs, the 7th house for commitment relationships. The 7th implies a 'legally binding contract', which is what marriage is.

It's not your intent or intensity of feelings that assign the rulership. It's who the 'other' is. That's what has to be worked out.

The 7th house is chosen also when we have and 'undesignated' OTHER. So it adds to the confusion sometimes.

If the question is about marriage or long term relationship, then use the 7th.

If you want to know about a date or a romance or an affair, use the 5th. If you are asking if it will lead to marriage, we are back in the 7th.

If you know a relationship will always be 'only' an affair, it's 5th house.

Sometimes the 'other' is the 7th even though you are married to someone else! Divorce is always the 7th, as are business partners and 'open enemies'.

It depends on the question and the situation. Also the rulers will describe the person asked about and that can help us in confirmation.

Show us an example horary, if you have one. It may help to sort this out.

I hope this helps!

Kim

[whiteheather]

Thanks Kim, I understand it better now. Yes, I do have one. Need to get photobucket first, or whatever. Meanwhile, what is a "undesignated" other? Sounds mysterious...

[Kim Falconer]

Hi Whiteheather (and again, welcome to the forum!)

If you ask a question about someone else and are not certain where to put them (friend, boss, child's teacher...) you give them the 7th. Or, if you're asking something like, What does 'Joe" want with my sister, "Joe" would be the undesignated other.

Does that make sense?

Kim

[whiteheather]

Yes, thanks. By the way, I learned that it is a good idea to determine before looking at the horary chart which house is going to be ruled by whom, in order to prevent "wishful thinking" of a sort, and that seemed to make sense, but actually, what you say seems to me intuitively correct. The planets can reveal themselves as symbolizing certain people.... Gosh, horary truly elevates astrology to an art form, doesn't it... I just love it so much, lol!

[Kim Falconer]

Yes, horary is subtly artistic!

I like your idea of determining what house will rule 'whom' first, yet there needs to be a flexibility if there is a question of houses and one points (screams out) towards the person!

A flexible approach is best!

Thanks for that.

Kim

[blueorchids]

Whiteheather,

In addition to to what Kim has said, it might be good to "test" out your horaries. By this I mean, when I have done horaries on D. and gone back and checked my notes on my "answers" they have been eeriely correct when he has been placed in the 7th (on occasion the 6th when there is some health patina to the question and he is my physician). I am married and he is not my husband nor are we having an intimate sexual relationship. Interestingly, the few times I have attempted putting him in the 5th house or even the 11th it has not worked out accurately. I think when a relationship is rife with implications with history heaped atop, and emotional intimacy, the 7th might beg consideration. One thing in horary I have found to be totally accurate is House 3 when I ask about emails. letters and correspondence!

[whiteheather]

Thanks, Blueorchids, for your interesting comment. I think you may be on to something. "Emotional intimacy" seems definitely more related to the 7th than the 5th. I can't help but think of the fifth as a kind of superficial house of flirtations, fun and games, and inconsequential entanglements, rather than a relationship that involves deep feelings, especially those that already have a history. I was trying to suggest this by calling it "intensity" which Kim didn't really agree with, and I think emotional depth and intimacy conveys what I was trying to say much better. Thanks!

[kansara]

Thanks whiteheather for opening this topic!!!

I was wondering very badly recently about this matter too, and even I've guessed the main idea that was explained here, I wasn't sure, so now I understand much, much better! it's make sense!

thanks to all of you !!!