Black Moon Lilith/Eros in Synastry

[Bodaciousbabe]

Dear all,

I've been lurking for quite awhile, although I've been studying astrology for about 6 months. I continue to be amazed at the depth of symbology in charts.

Kim, my question is, how does a connection in a synastry chart between Black Moon Lilith (in a 5 degree orb from Jupiter) opposition Eros play out? (It's his BML opposition my Eros/Chiron conjunction.)

His Eros/Neptune conjunction is opposite our Sun-Moon conjunction. (My sun, his moon.)

I realize that the whole chart has to be taken as a complete picture, but these aspects are confusing.

Thanks so much!

Bodaciousbabe

[Kim Falconer]

Hello Bodacious,

Welcome to the forum.

In synastry, you can think of the contacts like “permanent transits”. While you are around a person, they activate or wake up certain areas of your chart, certain planets, and visa versa. How you respond to that activation—love, joy, shyness, anger, fear—all depends on YOUR own relationship to the energies involved.

With that in mind, Lilith (who is being discussed on some of the other threads right now as well) opposite Eros is going to get Eros going for one person and Lilith for the other. I do not think they are contradictory energies, yet they do evoke a strong response.

A few months ago, we had a conjunction of Eros and Lilith in Gemini. Here is an excerpt from the “Eros Guide” at that time:

“…We all have Lilith’s plutonic quality in us, the unconscious energy that brings up harsh boundaries between life and death, ecstasy and suffering, passion and revulsion, enslavement and freedom. How do we honor Lilith in our lives? Do we exile her from consciousness or build her a sanctuary for potent, creative expression? When she contacts Eros, the answer to that question will be soon found in the heart of our erotic relationships.

Eros wants intense encounters that lead to lasting transformation. His touch can be sexual, creative and spiritual. Lilith, both Black Moon and Asteroid 1181, brings up deep and primal sexual energy sometimes accompanied by feelings of anger, rejection and rage. Her theme is power-alluring and irresistible.

Eros is looking for his equal to explore the realm of creative intimacy. Lilith is looking for sacred sex. If these two do meet, the results can be awesome, changing our lives in meaningful and lasting ways…”

How we respond to this activation by synastry contact has a lot to do with our own relationship to themes of power, sexuality and creative expression. All we can say is that “it wakes up”.

That his Eros/Neptune is opposite his own Moon and your Sun (yes?) again awakens some very strong dynamics. In himself, he has tremendous longings, sensitivity, intuition and creative urges…and such receptive emotions that he may or may not be comfortable having them activated. In generally, it feels wonderful when someone “touches” our Moon. We feel “known”, understood, nourished. It also can feel too vulnerable sometimes…like they see too deep inside us…the light shines on dark places that we wish to keep hidden.

Eros/Neptune has many romantic notions and longing, and waking that up with your distinction (Sun) and individuality can feel just wonderful. There is a lot of motivation, a lot of desire. With Neptune involved, the nature of idealization is there, the feeling that we are dancing with the god. This is a particularly beautiful kind of love, and also one that can fall into disillusionment. We are, after all, human and fallible. We may not be able to always live out the divinity of Neptune.

Does this make sense? Who else has a synastry with Eros/Lilith or Eros/Neptune/Luminaries?

Warmly,
Kim

[Bodaciousbabe]

Kim,

Thank you for your response. Your writing is both eloquent and distinguished and a pleasure to read. (You must have a strong Gemini/Mercury/3rd house!)

Your description of Eros needing "intense encounters that lead to transformation" through a variety of ways is VERY important, because these Eros connections can also show up between brother/sister, parent/child, platonic friends, etc.

But in the synastry chart I asked you about, in addition to aspects I described, His Sun/Mars conjunction is Conjunct my Juno/Black Moon Lilith conjunction, which is all opposed to his Ascendent, hitting his 7th house cusp.

I am not making this up. This man is not my husband, with whom I've been happily and passionately married for 25 years. Astrology is giving me a framework for working with this incredible hornet's nest that has been stirred up. That and living life as creatively and joyfully as possible.

I will read the other posts and look forward to your book. I hope this post helps someone else in a similar situation.

Bodaciousbabe

[Kim Falconer]

Hello Bodacious,

Thanks for the feedback and encouraging comments. I actually have Sun/Mercury/Jupiter in Gemini with Mercury/Jupiter trine my third house Neptune/Saturn. Good call

Wow. That is an intense Lilith synastry and YES it is important for everyone to remember that Eros isn’t always about SEX. Erotic relationships occur between parent and child, teacher and student, spiritual leader and disciple or between good friends (or even "strangers"). Sex usually isn’t erotic. When it is, of course, it is something we never forget!

The “hornets nest” may actually be a fantastic opportunity for growth and awareness. The important question to ask when things heat up is, “What does this have to do with me?”<br>
Finding ourselves in the context of the events and people we attract is most instructional!

Thank you again for your contributions.

Warmly,
Kim

[chrissymgreen]

dear kim/all:

wow, i must concur with bodacious babe , who said your posts were a pleasure to read. indeed, you are an awesome writer, and very knowledgable as well.

i'm interested in this thread because i did a google search on eros conjunct lilith in synastry. the man i am dating has his own eros conjunct his sun, mercury and saturn (loosely) in virgo. his lilith in cancer trines his scorpio ascendant exactly, and it also trines, less tightly, his venus, mars & uranus in scorpio. my eros in aries conjuncts my mercury, and trines very loosely my moon, jupiter & neptune in sag. my lilith is in virgo and conjunct s my pluto.

anyways, in synastry, my lilith conjuncts his sun, mercury (a focal planet for him since he has 4 planets plus his NN ruled by mercury), north node, and eros. his eros conjuncts my pluto, and my psyche conjuncts his moon tightly. also, my juno conjuncts his moon exactly, by only a few minutes. my psyche squares his eros, a little loosely at 7° i think. all this makes my head spin a little, and im still kind of figuring it all out, or trying to, and i wanted to thank you so much for posting this stuff because it's interesting to read!!


sincerely,
chrissy

[Kim Falconer]

Thank you Chrissy, for the wonderful comments and feedback.

Welcome to the forum.

It is good to know we are coming up on the search engines.

Wow, the contacts you describe with this man seem very full on and intense. It is going to be quite interesting when Eros moves into Virgo at the end of this month. You will both be getting conjunctions and other aspects from Eros at that time. Where are your composite planets? I wonder if you will find them activated along with the synastry/natals.

You are most welcome for all the information here on the forum and on my main site. You will find details of Eros transiting through Virgo in a few weeks and also please feel free to ask specific questions (one at a time) or make comments whenever the feeling moves you.

Warm wishes,
Kim

[chrissymgreen]

dear kim (et al),

thanks for the welcome! this is the first board i've discovered since lindaland that i really really like. lindaland is cool; i know enough now that im usually the one answering questions there, though i guess i do ask quite a bit, too (i'm insatiablly curious!). i've been working on my own little notebook with all of my chart details, and i've recently begun adding his (we'll call him mr. virgo). i just began comparing all of our planets, planetary rulers, points, angles, and a couple of arabic parts to each other's. it's been enlightening.

this relationship does feel quite intense. it's odd...it's energizing for both of us (his mars in my 1st house, and my jupiter is in his 1st house), transforming for me (his pluto in my 1st house; his sun in my 12th), and for him it's very comfy (my sun's in his 4th). he's also quite charmed by me (my neptune's in his 1st, 5° away from his ascendant) - i think the only other person on this planet who idealizes me that much is my mother. it's also balancing since we're opposites with our sun and moon signs - he's a virgo sun/gem moon, and im a pisces singleton sun/sag moon. the opposition between our suns is less than a degree, but our moons actually quindecile each other (they're 165° apart). this sounds as if it could be trying at times, but my sun is in the 6th house (virgo's house), and my moon is in the 3rd house (gemini's natural house), so i think this all works out well. his sun's in the 10th house (capricorn's house, that's my mars sign) and his moon is in the 7th (libra's house, and that's my ascendant). it seems to be working out very well, even if he is 7 years younger than me.

our composite planets are:
ac - libra
sun - sag/3
moon - pisces/5
merc - cancer/9
venus - cap/3
mars - sag/2
eros - cancer/9
psyche - virgo/10
juno - aries/5
lilith - leo/10

it's true i do have questions...im trying to think of any relating to this thread - the eros/lilith conjunction, but i dont think i have any, because you answered bodacious babe's on meanings of this conjunction, and that's what i was looking for (again - thank you!). im sure ill post here soon, because there are plenty of questions...and i'll try my best to offer any insight or info i have to others!

sincerely,
chrissy

[chrissymgreen]

oh, kim, sorry to interject again, i *did* think of something to ask pertaining lilith/eros. in natal/synastry charts, does anything besides a conjunction really matter? like the trines - are they meaningful at all? does it have to be in a tight orb? i ask because mr. virgo's eros is in virgo, tightly conjunct his sun (7°) and mercury (0°), but only loosley conjunct his saturn (15°). i figure this makes eros an important asteroid for him. eros seems to be important for me, too, because it is also conjunct my mercry by 5°. in synastry, his eros squares my psyche by 7° (that's a *little* losse for a square), so i guess i was wondering if i should count that, too. i mean, it's not a conjunction.

just wondering what your thoughts were!



thank you thank you thank you,
chrissy

[Kim Falconer]

Hello Chrissy,

I would count the synastry square from Eros to Psyche. In the composite, it moves to an almost exact sextile, with Lilith semi-sextile both. This emphasizes Lilith by both synastry and composite.

How wide is the orb for the trine from Eros to Lilith in the synastry you are asking about? (you mentioned your Lilith conjunct his in Virgo)

Let me know the sign, house and degrees of Eeos and Lilith (or whatever asteroid) and I will elaborate. Yes, trines do "count"--though they seem to operate a little differently from the direct aspects (conjunction, opposition and even square).

I am fascinated by your double Moon-Moon, Sun-Sun oppositions. It must be very stimulating! I find that when someone is my EARTH (the exact opposite of the Sun in the natal chart is called the “Earth”) I get very excited. I feel a connection right away. There is almost too much to say all at once!

Thanks for your interest and contributions.

Warmly,
Kim

[chrissymgreen]

dear kim,

hmm, let's see, this is what's going on for me (i'm just mentioning the mentionables here):
(venus is an important planet in my chart - it rules my ascendant; it is involved in a mutual reception with uranus. the sun is also important for me, as it is a singleton, the only water sign in my chart. uranus is important too, as it is exactly conjunct my AC. jupiter is also important - i have moon, jupiter & neptune in sag and it's stationary.)
ascendant - libra 12°<br>sun - pisces 28°/6th house
venus - aquarius 18°/5th house
pluto - virgo 28°/12th house
eros - aries 16°/7th house
psyche - gemini 15°/9th house
juno - gemini 12°/9th house
lilith - virgo 21°/12th house

and for him:
(pluto is extremely important in his chart - it rules his ascendant; he has venus, mars & uranus in scorpio; it's a singleton, the only cardinal sign; it is involved in a mutual reception with venus. mercury is also important in his chart - he has sun, mercury, saturn & NN in virgo and moon in gemini.)
ascendant - scorpio 27°<br>sun - virgo 29°/10th house
moon - gemini 12°/7th house
mercury - virgo 22°/10th house
pluto - libra 15°/11th house
eros - virgo 22°/10th house
psyche - scorpio 24°/12th house
juno - capricorn 23°/2nd house
lilith - cancer 27°/9th house

so you see:
• my sun trines his psyche by 4°<br>• my sun trines lilith by 1°<br>• my psyche trines his pluto by less than a degree

and of course there are the conjunctions, i think those are most important.
• my lilith/his merc (1°), sun (8°), eros (1°).<br>• my psyche/his moon (3°)<br>• my juno/his moon (less than a degree)

and i think you're right, his eros in virgo (a very important sign for him!) square my psyche in gemini (his moon sign!), even by 7°, that seems pertinent to the synastry.


OH yes! i love that his sun and moon are opposite mine. i think for some people this would be an issue...but i've come to the conclusion that opposites are important in my own chart, so i'm attracted to people with whom i share oppositions. i mean, my sun is in pisces in the opposite house of virgo, my moon is in sag in the opposite house of gemini (my mars is in the 3rd house, too). i also have a 0° opposition between my sun and pluto. i think he makes me feel wonderful! i mean, i'm so lazy sometimes, and his mars in my 1st house plus that sun-sun oppostion and the moon-moon opp by sign really helps me out. do you yourself have any opposite stuff going on? sun or moon in the opposite house? oh wait, just noticed you stated you have jupiter (in addition to other planets) in gemini! so there's a bit of an opposition thing going on there (jupiter ruling sag which is opposite gem).

as they say, we are most attracted to people with whom we share the same or a similar balance of hard & soft aspects.

ooh, anyway, i want to thank you again! this is SO much fun!



most sincerely,
chrissy

[Kim Falconer]

Hi Chrissy,

Your Lilith on his Mercury/Eros does seem striking. No wonder you jumped on this post!

I find it interesting also that he has Mercury/Eros and you have Mercury/Amor. There is a kind of lyrical passion to how you both communicate, even though the Mercury’s may not be in obvious “sync”.

You made a good point about mimicking our own natal aspects in our synastry relationships. I have had many friends over the years who were born around Nov. 23 (my solar opposites) and also who match my strong square and inconjunct patterns. I also have Jupiter/Venus on the AP opposite Mars.

You are right. Oppositions do seem to give and evoke a lot of energy. Sometimes it is “too much” but it does get us moving!

Warmly,
Kim

[chrissymgreen]

dear kim,

ah! weird how we're attracted to those with similar aspects, huh? in part, i see it as evidence that like attracts like. at least with regard to being attracted to those with similar aspects as our own - it's like they know our internal struggles. for instance, my mutable sun squares my mutable moon. it's a big thing for me...an aspect like this is said to be like the refiner's fire - it eventually forces the native to become a better person (if we don't fight it all the time). and with the virgo-pisces axis (my pisces sun in the 6th house of virgo) as the base that causes me to be very conscientious and aware of how my actions affect others. mr. virgo also has a mutable sun-moon square, in the signs of virgo (sun) and gemini (moon). i think we understand each other in part through our squares.

when we're attracted to people because we *have* similar aspects with them in synastry that we have in our own natal charts i think it is because they awaken in us, through our interaction with them, those parts of ourselves. it's due in part to what you say, kim, about 'permanent transits'. a lot of times maybe having a lot of oppositions going on in our own charts means we'll gravitate to a sun that is opposite our own. it's what we feel most comfortable with.

yes, i'd say the communication i share with mr. virgo is indeed really lyrical and passionate. he has that mercury/eros thing, and so do i (actually, i have mercury 11°, eros 16° AND amor 25° all in aries...i guess only mercury and eros are actually conjunct by orb).

oh, wait, ok...so i have merc, eros and amor in aries. he has merc, eros in virgo, and amor in aries. HIS amor is exactly conjunct my mercury. ok, i'm just clearing that up for myself. it gets confusing.

i know our mercurys arent compatible by sign, but i think i have a good understanding of mercury in virgo, because my mercury just happens to fall in yep, you guessed it, my 6th house.


thanks again, kim, this is the most fun i've had in a while with astrology.



-chrissy

[Kim Falconer]

Hi Chrissy,

You do have to look beyond the obvious (mercury in Aries/Virgo) and connect with house, contacts to asteroids etc. Your examples here are most helpful.

I am delighted you find this fun!

Being a Gemini, FUN seems quite important…what did Isabel Pagan say?

[glow=red,2,300]The chief characteristic of Gemini is an exuberance of intellectual energy, which must find expression. Their’s is a charming type, whose true function is to make life more interesting and beautiful for themselves and others. - Isabelle Pagan[/glow]

Anyway, it’s great you are enjoying the forum!

Warmly,
Kim

[chrissymgreen]

dear kim,

why, you're welcome, i have to admit, i *love* being of service to people so i like the idea of providing good examples and hopefully some information that someone else might find useful (that sun in the 6th house thing, i imagine).

i did notice something just today. his amor is conjunct my descendant in aries by less than a degree. is this important, you think? ive never really paid a whole lot of attention to planets or asteroids conjunct the 4th, 7th or 10th angles, but i know they say those are important. and since it is an angle (because angles receive energy) involved and not a planetary body (because planets exchange energy), does that mean only the partner whose angle is touched is affected? i guess that's a good question; one ive been wondering in regard to a couple other contacts we have, too (the only example that comes to mind is his pluto conjunct my ascendant by 3°).<br>
thank you thank you thank you.

im having so much fun with the asteroids. i tell you, i keep meaning to get a book on them. there's one i heard about called asteroid goddesses or something like that. do you know the one im talking about? i love all their stories. so interesting.


sincerely,
chrissy

[Kim Falconer]

Hello Chrissy,

You asked about Amor conjunct the descendant in synatry:

[glow=red,2,300]his amor is conjunct my descendant in aries by less than a degree. is this important?...since it is an angle (because angles receive energy) involved and not a planetary body (because planets exchange energy), does that mean only the partner whose angle is touched is affected?

[/glow]This is a good question.

When something in one person’s chart touches the Angles in another, you get a very strong connection. It can feel like magic, or it can feel like poison, but it almost always FEELS strong.

That’s because the angles, the moment of birth, adds a uniqueness to those daily transits. It drops all the planets out of orbit and puts them in context in relationship to the earth. It makes the “star map” extremely personal. Your angles are YOU!

His Amor opposite your Ascendant/Conjunct your descendant highlights a feeling of unconditional love. Being around him is going to give, among all the other things, to you an “amorous” feeling, no expectations, no assumptions. It is like Amor is about to set (think of the glory of a sunset) all the time.

Synastry contacts are always a two way street. Being around you is (for him) like having his Amor touched off by your Ascendant/Descendant axis. It may not “give out energy” in the sense of a planet, but it says a lot about the uniqueness of you. When you are activated in the Ascendant/Descendant way (perceiving the world, relating to others, being personal, being social) it lights up his Amor.

Where your Ascendant/Descendant falls in his chart says something about how he experiences YOU!

Of course there are many other things that “happen” to each of you when you are together, though this is certainly one. I am guessing it feels more like magic, a kind of inner knowing that something “clicks” between you.

Does this make sense? How do you feel it may express?

Thanks for the question.

Warmly,
Kim
PS The book you mention is “Asteroid Goddesses” The Mythology, Psychology and Astrology of the Reemerging Feminine,” by Demetra George. You will find it at amazon.com or any of the book links on my LINKS page (ACA,AFA etc)